Letting go

It is no secret that I am a control freak and, therefore, a resistor of changes that are out of my control.  My life seems to be filled with those changes right now.  Students that I've invested my heart in are graduating and moving on.  I am packing up my classroom for the 4th time in 5 years, although the new room will be GLORIOUS.  Christopher is finishing first grade and the time when he needs his mom is flying past me.  Everywhere I look, I see change looming and it puts me on edge.

This morning, God asked me simple questions.  "Will you trust Me?"  Yes, Lord.  I choose to trust You.  "Will you believe that I have plans for good and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope?"  (Jeremiah 29:11)  Yes, Lord I choose to believe.  "Do you know in your heart that I can and I will turn ALL THINGS for good for those who love Me?"  (Romans 8:28)  Yes, Lord.  I know in my heart.  "Will you let go of the things that are causing worry and weighing on your heart?"  Yes, Lord.  I choose to let go...again and again. 

Extraordinary

I live an ordinary life, but since high school, I have wanted to do something amazing and be a world-changer.  I dream of being the wife and mother described in Proverbs 31.  I dream of writing beautiful poetry, or a book, or soul-stirring music.  I dream of conquering mountains and marathons.  I dream of traveling the world and being a missionary.  I dream of being an amazing teacher.  Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my life!  I am content.  But there is a part of me that longs to be extraordinary. 

The solution is that I can do ordinary things extraordinarily!  I can show my husband how much I love him by doing laundry, cooking, and cleaning enthusiastically.  I can make sure that our home is a safe haven filled with love, peace, and joy.  I can turn ordinary moments with Christopher into life-changing, forever memories.  I can write a blog that might impact a life somewhere along the way.  I can sing and play piano and guitar for an audience of One.  I can run with a smile on my face, loving every minute and not worrying about how fast or how far I go, and hopefully inspire others as I run.  I can be a missionary in my classroom and at my school and in my community.  I can teach biology with great joy and give life lessons and love to my students.  I can love deeply and wholeheartedly.

Maybe I won't ever do anything that is book or movie worthy and I am ok with that.  But, I will live an extraordinary life!

symbiotic relationships

Relationships are my thing...I've even been called a relationship nerd!  Recently, I was teaching a lesson to my 9th grade biology students on symbiotic relationships.  Symbiotic relationships are between two organisms of different species who live in the same environment.  There are three types of symbiosis: mutualism, commensalism, and parasitism.  In each situation, at least one of the organisms benefits.  A mutualistic relationship benefits both organisms.  In commensalism, one benefits and the other is neither helped nor harmed.  Parasitism benefits one and harms the other.  One of my students asked, "Are there any relationships where no one benefits?"  I quickly responded, "What would be the point of relationship if no one benefited from it?"  I paused and let that soak into my brain...true for symbiotic relationships and human relationships too.

This ecology lesson caused me to look at my relationships in a different light.  Parasitism is not a relationship I want to have.  I've been the person who was harmed (not going back there again!), and I would NEVER want to be the cause of that for someone else.  I am blessed with mutualistic relationships, but my heart is to pursue commensalism.   I want to seek the benefit and blessing of the other person without need or expectation of reciprocation.  I want to give unselfishly and wholeheartedly while I allow God to fill me with everything He has and everything I need.  I'm human, but I am praying to be more like Jesus and filled with Him!