against the wind

There is a storm coming in and it was windy today.  I really dislike wind, but I needed to run.  Running in the wind is hard for me...I feel like I'm getting nowhere very slowly.  It's discouraging and I never feel like I've had a good run when it's windy.  There are times in life that feel this way to me...I give it everything I've got, but I just can't get anywhere.  This past week was like that.  And today, I have Bob Seger singing in my head...against the wind...

God reminded me today that I had written about wind in my journal this summer.  Here is what I found when I went back to read it...

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.  He will be like a tree planted by the water, that sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when heat comes [or wind]; its leaves are always green.  It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.  Jeremiah 17:7-8

Yesterday, I walked past clumps of ornamental grasses that were taller than I was.  They were blowing in the breeze.  God said to me...this is you.  You are firmly rooted.  The winds will come and shake you, but you will not break or be uprooted.

May the winds of change make me beautiful as I sway and dance along.  Lord, keep me rooted and grounded so that I will not break or bend or come completely undone."

I ran past those same clumps of grass today and watched them move in the wind as I passed by.  But I kept going.  And even when I could have cut my run short and headed home, I didn't.  I kept going knowing that I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing.  I had to stop and walk more than I would have liked.  And the truth is that when the wind blows in my life, sometimes all I can do is stand and watch things change around me.  I guess that's the part I really hate...the wind moves things around and changes them.

My head is filled with thoughts that threaten to paralyze me with fear if I let them take over.  Time to evict them and fill my head with truth.
Jeremiah 29:11...For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Joshua 1:9...have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Romans 8:28...and we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
Philippians 4:6-7...Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

That's where my thoughts are going to dwell...on the truth.  No matter what changes around me, God will work for my good.  Me worrying about things that might or might not happen doesn't change anything...it just gives me a headache.  God has plans to prosper me; plans to give me a hope and a future.  I can give all my worries to Jesus...and in return He will give me peace.  I can stand strong against the wind and keep moving forward!

Love and people

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  John 15:12
We love because He first loved us.  1 John 4:19

Over and over in the New Testament, we are told to love each other.  To think of others before ourselves.  To encourage each other.  To forgive each other.  It's an impossible task on our own.  Our human tendency is to look out for ourselves...to try to get what we need from other people before we give to them.  It's a desperate situation!  But, there is hope!  God loved us first!  He is love!  And when we allow Him to fill us, there is an abundance of love and encouragement and forgiveness and service to give!

So our first priority is loving God and allowing Him to fill us with His overflowing love.  (My blog post "God is love" is all about that.)  Second priority is loving each other...easier said than done for many reasons.

Sometimes people are hard to love.  They hurt our feelings.  They shut us out.  They run away.  I've discovered that people who respond that way have walls around their hearts.  They have deep hurts that only God can heal.  They have been hurt by people so many times that they are unwilling to let anyone close.  God still calls us to love.  When we are filled with His love, we can love without expectations of love being returned.  We can continue to love and give and forgive and serve because we are confident in God's love for us.

My prayer lately has been that God would show me how to love the people in my life the way they need to be loved.  That He would teach me His way to love.  And that I would be willing and obedient to be used by Him.  He is a good, good Father!  And I am loved by Him!  

God is love

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.  1 John 4:16

We who believe in God say this all the time, but do we really believe it in our hearts and live like we believe it?  God has been teaching me about His love for the past year and a half.  I hit a point in my life where I didn't love myself, and I couldn't believe that God loved me either.  But, God gave us His word, the Bible, and it is filled with the truth about how He feels about us.  Over and over He calls us His children and His friends.  John 3:16 tells us that God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.  God gave the most precious thing He had, Jesus, to save me from eternal death and to make a way for me to have relationship with Him.

It is so simple.  God loves us and He wants us to love Him.  Deuteronomy 6:5 says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."  We make being a Christian so complicated...a list of do's and don'ts.  But, the bottom line is this...God loves us and we love Him...end of story.  What a great relationship!

We have an enemy who wants to steal from us, kill us, and destroy us.  He hates our love relationship with God and will do anything to separate us.  Much of the time, we make it easy for him.  We believe the lies and the deception that he throws at us trying to convince us that we aren't good enough for God to love us.  

Here's the TRUTH...

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor ANYTHING ELSE IN ALL CREATION, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:37-39

The devil doesn't have to power to separate us from God unless we let him.  We get to choose.  I choose to believe the truth...God is love and He loves me!

imperfect journey

Three years ago this month (January 19, 2013 to be exact), I started running.  Have I gotten faster?  No!  Have I lost weight?  No!  Have I won any races?  No!  Why do I keep running?  That's easy, I love it!  I love the way my feet sound when they hit the sidewalk.  I love the way my ponytail swings on the back of my head.  I love the way I feel when I hit my stride and when I arrive home after running.  I've had my ups and downs...times when I felt like I could run forever and times when I couldn't even drag myself out the door to run.  It's been an imperfect journey.  When I started running 3 years ago, my only goal was to love it!  Somewhere along the line, I started setting other goals...mile splits, distance, speed.  And I lost the joy in the journey.  Tonight, I braved the ice and darkness and cold, and I ran (and walked across the icy spots).  And I felt amazing.  God reminded me that I started on this running adventure simply to love it...and here I was, loving every minute of my run.  I had a new revelation of joy in the journey.  A turning point.  A defining moment.

I have always been a dreamer and a goal setter.  The journey of life has had one purpose...get to the finish line...whatever that might be at the time.  When that is the only goal, there is stress...get to the destination as quickly and successfully as possible.  I've lived my life that way...with my eyes on the goal and missing the out on the joy along the way.

I've been in search of things that bring joy to my heart.  I am so blessed with a wonderful family, amazing friends, and a job that I love.  They all fill my heart, but I discovered that I need some things just for me.  We all do.

I've been taking piano lessons off and on for the past 3 years.  I'm convinced that my affinity for music is programmed into my DNA.  I always wanted to be able to play piano, and now I'm doing something about it.  It has been an imperfect journey.  Time to practice is hard to come by.  But, today at my lesson, I felt the same way that I do when I run.  Joy in that imperfect journey.  I sat at the piano, fingers fumbling, but rejoicing when beautiful chords emerged every now and then.  My teacher and dear friend, Elizabeth, rejoices with me in each tiny step forward.  

I started blogging about the same time I started running and learning piano.  I am not a good judge of my own writing.  I write words from my heart, but I have no idea who reads them.  Maybe no one, but I keep at it.  I love to write about the lessons I'm learning in life.  It helps me process my thoughts whether I put them here or just in my journal.  This blog...words I want to live by...has been an imperfect journey.  Expressing frustrations, sharing joys, working through changes.  It's all part of the journey and I love every minute of it!

I've found more than just hobbies.  I am passionate about running, making music, and writing.  I am not perfect at any of them, and I never will be, but from this moment forward, I am going to enjoy every step of the imperfect journey!