After much thought and prayer, I've decided that my word for 2016 is imperfect. I started striving for perfection at a young age. My mom tells about when I was learning to write. I would erase every letter that I deemed imperfect so many times that there would be holes in my paper. Perfectionism has affected every area of my life. It drove me to be a straight A student. (That ended in college, by the way!) It has caused tremendous amounts of stress as I tried to be the perfect daughter, sister, friend, student, teacher, wife, mother, housekeeper, Christian, and anything else that I can't think of at the moment. Perfectionism opened the door to fear and anxiety and depression in me.
It has only been in the last couple of years that I have truly realized that I will NEVER on this earth reach perfection. I'm human. That's not an excuse, it's reality. I will never be perfect at anything...and I'm grateful. If I could be perfect on my own, I would have no need for Jesus. It would be a lonely existence. God calls me to be the best Dawn that I can be, but no where in the Bible does He ask me to be perfect. He made me and He knows better than anyone my imperfections. He asks me to learn and to grow in my life on this earth...to become more like Jesus...but He never expects me to reach perfection until I see Him in heaven.
What a relief! I can let go of my own unrealistic expectations and be me. I can do my best to be like Jesus. I can be the best Dawn...wife, mom, friend, teacher, Christian, daughter, etc...that I can be while I follow Jesus and His example. I can let go of the expectation of a perfect life. I am the main character of my life, and therefore, it cannot be perfect! :)
I'm sure that Mary and Joseph did not think a stable (some think it was actually a cave) was the perfect place for Jesus to be born. I'm not sure I do either, but it was God's perfect plan for the beginning of Jesus life on earth. He sees time from the beginning to the end, and His plans are way beyond my comprehension. He knows the plans that He has for me, and they are plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
So I'm embracing the imperfect this year. Releasing myself to love life in spite of the imperfections. Accepting that things will go wrong, at least from my perspective. Believing that God works in ALL things for the good of those who love Him. Knowing that God's plan is not always my perfect plan, and His plan is ALWAYS better! Allowing God to wrap His arms around imperfect me and love me. Embracing the imperfect.
Monday, December 28, 2015
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Believe
It should come as no surprise that there are words hanging on our Christmas tree...faith, joy, hope, and believe. That word believe jumped out at me this morning when I turned on the Christmas tree lights. This time of year can be filled with stress and anxiety, and I was in panic-mode when I got up. When I saw the word "believe" hanging on our beautiful tree, God whispered to my spirit, "Believe, it's simple, just believe!"
That's the bottom line of what God asks of us...believe in Him. Believe that He is who He says He is. Believe that He will do what He said He would do. Believe that His promises are true. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." God already did the work, we just have to BELIEVE!
I believe that He is my Savior, my Provider, my Healer, my Redeemer, my Father, my Friend, the Giver of all good things! I believe that He will meet my every need! I believe that He will complete the work He has started in me! I believe that He will fill me with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control! I believe that Jesus came to the earth as a miraculous human and Son of God baby to set us free from our sins and make a way for us to have relationship with God! My heart is filled with gratitude! I believe!
Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished! Luke 1:45
That's the bottom line of what God asks of us...believe in Him. Believe that He is who He says He is. Believe that He will do what He said He would do. Believe that His promises are true. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." God already did the work, we just have to BELIEVE!
I believe that He is my Savior, my Provider, my Healer, my Redeemer, my Father, my Friend, the Giver of all good things! I believe that He will meet my every need! I believe that He will complete the work He has started in me! I believe that He will fill me with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control! I believe that Jesus came to the earth as a miraculous human and Son of God baby to set us free from our sins and make a way for us to have relationship with God! My heart is filled with gratitude! I believe!
Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished! Luke 1:45
Sunday, December 6, 2015
escaping the anxiety trap
Philippians 4:6-8 says...Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. And then verse 19 of chapter 4 says...And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
Anxiety has been a trap in my life. It only takes a small bit of bait for me to be drawn into it. Once I'm in, I get stuck there and overwhelming anxiety creeps in to every part of my life. It's a horrible place to be trapped! But, praise be to God, He made a way out! The escape route is found in Philippians 4, which has become one of my favorite passages. I was reading these verses this morning and I realized that they contain a list of things for me to do and they tell me how God will respond. Go back and read those verses again and then go on to the list.
My choices about anxiety are...
1. Do not be anxious. Straightforward and seemingly simple. I am learning to recognize the bait in the trap for what it is and not fall for it. Avoiding the trap is the best way to stay out of it!
2. Pray and give my needs to God. Nothing is too small or too big to give to Him. I am a problem solver and I am in the habit of trying to figure things out. That leads me straight into the trap of anxiety. I am learning to give everything to God immediately no matter the size of the problem so He can show me how to handle it.
3. Be grateful. There is always something for which to be thankful. Thinking about gratitude takes me to my next choice.
4. Think about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. The longer my brain dwells on an issue, the bigger the problem, or hurt, or frustration. My thoughts take the bait and hold on tight to anxiety. It is no mistake that the Bible also tells us to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. I can work myself into a frenzy just by allowing my thoughts to run wild.
God's response to my good choices...
1. He gives me peace that I cannot comprehend. There is no substitute for the peace of God, and there is no other way to receive it but by faith and grace.
2. He gives what I need to meet my needs. He is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent. He knows far better than I do what is best for me. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and He can give infinitely. He is my Heavenly Father and He wants to take care of my needs even more than my earthly father does. He is a good, good Father!
I have good choices to make at any point in the process. When I see the bait or if I'm stuck in the trap, I can start at #1 do not be anxious. Move on to #2 pray and give my needs to God. #3 Be grateful! And #4 think on the things of God. The anxiety trap cannot hold me if I do things God's way!
Anxiety has been a trap in my life. It only takes a small bit of bait for me to be drawn into it. Once I'm in, I get stuck there and overwhelming anxiety creeps in to every part of my life. It's a horrible place to be trapped! But, praise be to God, He made a way out! The escape route is found in Philippians 4, which has become one of my favorite passages. I was reading these verses this morning and I realized that they contain a list of things for me to do and they tell me how God will respond. Go back and read those verses again and then go on to the list.
My choices about anxiety are...
1. Do not be anxious. Straightforward and seemingly simple. I am learning to recognize the bait in the trap for what it is and not fall for it. Avoiding the trap is the best way to stay out of it!
2. Pray and give my needs to God. Nothing is too small or too big to give to Him. I am a problem solver and I am in the habit of trying to figure things out. That leads me straight into the trap of anxiety. I am learning to give everything to God immediately no matter the size of the problem so He can show me how to handle it.
3. Be grateful. There is always something for which to be thankful. Thinking about gratitude takes me to my next choice.
4. Think about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. The longer my brain dwells on an issue, the bigger the problem, or hurt, or frustration. My thoughts take the bait and hold on tight to anxiety. It is no mistake that the Bible also tells us to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. I can work myself into a frenzy just by allowing my thoughts to run wild.
God's response to my good choices...
1. He gives me peace that I cannot comprehend. There is no substitute for the peace of God, and there is no other way to receive it but by faith and grace.
2. He gives what I need to meet my needs. He is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent. He knows far better than I do what is best for me. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and He can give infinitely. He is my Heavenly Father and He wants to take care of my needs even more than my earthly father does. He is a good, good Father!
I have good choices to make at any point in the process. When I see the bait or if I'm stuck in the trap, I can start at #1 do not be anxious. Move on to #2 pray and give my needs to God. #3 Be grateful! And #4 think on the things of God. The anxiety trap cannot hold me if I do things God's way!
Monday, November 9, 2015
safe and secure
I've been having some major insecurity flare-ups lately. I put on a mask and hide behind a smile and never really deal with those sore spots. It reminds me of putting a band-aid on a cut, but not taking care of it. Cover it up and hope that it will go away on its own. After 46 years, I am convinced that covering my insecurities is not helping them get better. The time has come to take care of them so they can heal. Healing will require exposing the lies that lead to the insecurities in the first place and replacing the lies with God's love and truth and grace. Dealing with insecurities requires me to be real and open and honest with myself and with God.
How did I get here? I think the devil plagues us with insecurities from the time we become aware of ourselves. I remember being insecure as a child about how I looked and who I was and what I could and couldn't do. So I have had these "sore spots" for most of my life. The enemy brings people and situations into my life to irritate those spots and cause them to swell. The pain and swelling keeps my attention and causes my thoughts to dwell on the insecurity until it grows into fear. If I let fear run rampant, it becomes paralyzing. And I withdraw and shut down. Game over. The enemy wins.
Not in my life...not anymore! I'm done with losing this battle! God and I are taking on the sore spots, one insecurity at a time. Exposing the lies, speaking the truth, and receiving God's love and grace. The enemy will not be able to shut me down any longer. I am safe and secure in the arms of my Father God.
Saturday, October 31, 2015
seeking The Light
One of the English teachers at LCHS organized a poetry reading/recitation at school this week. Students, parents, and teachers read or recited favorite poems and explained what they meant to them. I went to listen and to be inspired. I love hearing poetry, and I love writing poetry. There is something deep and meaningful in the words of a poem, and that connects with me and speaks to me. I was inspired and I have had a poem inside of me begging to be written, expressing my own experiences in thoughtfully chosen words. I hope that it will speak to someone...
seeking The Light
Darkness
suffocating and overwhelming
I was blind and hopeless
seeing no way out of the cold blackness
believing the lies
feeling trapped, paralyzed by fear
And then, a glimpse of light
the flame of a flickering candle
giving just a glimmer
but enough to see one step forward
and another and another and another
one step at a time
until I emerged from captivity
and stepped into the radiance
of freedom and truth and love
turning my face toward The Son
seeking The Light
seeking The Light
Darkness
suffocating and overwhelming
I was blind and hopeless
seeing no way out of the cold blackness
believing the lies
feeling trapped, paralyzed by fear
And then, a glimpse of light
the flame of a flickering candle
giving just a glimmer
but enough to see one step forward
and another and another and another
one step at a time
until I emerged from captivity
and stepped into the radiance
of freedom and truth and love
turning my face toward The Son
seeking The Light
Saturday, October 17, 2015
the colors of life
I've always been drawn to colors. They speak to me. They are deep and symbolic. They evoke strong emotions. I'm almost always wearing at least one bright color...a representation of the person inside of me. Recently, the brilliant blue of the Colorado sky and the amazing golds, reds, and greens of the trees have been calling to me and filling me with joy. While I ran this morning (and admired the colors), I asked God, "Why? Why do the colors seem more spectacular this fall?"
I started thinking about a conversation that Christopher and I had during his science unit on light. We can only see colors when there is light because our eyes work by taking in the light that reflects off of objects. When there is no light, colors are not visible; everything looks black in the darkness.
Once a person has spent time in the darkness of fear, depression, anxiety, or simply buried in the lies of the enemy, the colors seem so much more amazing when she emerges from the darkness. This may be the first time in my existence that I am allowing the light of Jesus to shine brightly in my life. He is in the middle of everything I do, shining brilliantly. His light and His love bring out the colors of life like I have never seen them before and I am grateful!
I started thinking about a conversation that Christopher and I had during his science unit on light. We can only see colors when there is light because our eyes work by taking in the light that reflects off of objects. When there is no light, colors are not visible; everything looks black in the darkness.
Once a person has spent time in the darkness of fear, depression, anxiety, or simply buried in the lies of the enemy, the colors seem so much more amazing when she emerges from the darkness. This may be the first time in my existence that I am allowing the light of Jesus to shine brightly in my life. He is in the middle of everything I do, shining brilliantly. His light and His love bring out the colors of life like I have never seen them before and I am grateful!
Sunday, October 4, 2015
not mine!
I asked God this morning, "Why am I feeling paralyzed by my fears and my insecurities? You already set me free from them!" He responded to me, "They aren't yours! The devil keeps handing them to you and you keep taking them. They are not yours! Throw them down!"
I imagine the devil handing me box after box filled with lies, and fear, and guilt, and insecurity. I keep taking them until my hands are full and I am overwhelmed. I can't do anything else when my hands are full of junk from the enemy. I can't do what God calls me to do because I'm trying to deal with the junk that I took as mine.
Today, I'm throwing it down! I won't hold on to that junk anymore! I won't take the lies, the fear, the insecurity, the guilt, or anything else that the enemy tries to give to me! Those things are NOT MINE!
I imagine the devil handing me box after box filled with lies, and fear, and guilt, and insecurity. I keep taking them until my hands are full and I am overwhelmed. I can't do anything else when my hands are full of junk from the enemy. I can't do what God calls me to do because I'm trying to deal with the junk that I took as mine.
Today, I'm throwing it down! I won't hold on to that junk anymore! I won't take the lies, the fear, the insecurity, the guilt, or anything else that the enemy tries to give to me! Those things are NOT MINE!
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
being the real me
The best way to shut me down is to attack my self-image. The insecure me hides in my shell like a turtle and stays away from people and avoids God. It turns into a vicious cycle as I am alone with my thoughts about myself...and none of them are good or true. The more I think about my failures and shortcomings, the worse I feel. The worse I feel, the more I dwell on the lies about me. And there is the key word...LIES!
Once again, the lies MUST be replaced with Truth. The Bible says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. The same Psalm (Psalm 139) says that God has laid His hand upon me and that He will guide me and hold me fast wherever I go. Such love my Father has for me!
Here is my problem. I see me differently than anyone else does because I am looking from the inside out. My perception of myself is not accurate. So I judge myself based on the way people respond to me and I assume that is an accurate reflection of who I am. But, it isn't. The responses of other people reflect who they are rather than who I am. The enemy will use whatever and whomever he can to lie to me and convince me to believe it.
The only One who can tell me who I really am is God. He wove me together and saw me before anyone else. He created my inmost being and knit me together. (Psalm 139 again) He designed me and created me with purpose and on purpose. He loves me and calls me His daughter. That is THE Truth! Why would I ever strive to be anyone but the real me?
Once again, the lies MUST be replaced with Truth. The Bible says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. The same Psalm (Psalm 139) says that God has laid His hand upon me and that He will guide me and hold me fast wherever I go. Such love my Father has for me!
Here is my problem. I see me differently than anyone else does because I am looking from the inside out. My perception of myself is not accurate. So I judge myself based on the way people respond to me and I assume that is an accurate reflection of who I am. But, it isn't. The responses of other people reflect who they are rather than who I am. The enemy will use whatever and whomever he can to lie to me and convince me to believe it.
The only One who can tell me who I really am is God. He wove me together and saw me before anyone else. He created my inmost being and knit me together. (Psalm 139 again) He designed me and created me with purpose and on purpose. He loves me and calls me His daughter. That is THE Truth! Why would I ever strive to be anyone but the real me?
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Jesus in the middle
This morning I was contemplating building walls to hide behind. I ended last week feeling like I was a pinata wearing a target. I'm a relationship person in every part of my life, personally and professionally. I strive to be real and I try not to hide behind facades and agendas. There is no poker face on this girl. I'm approachable and I'm a fixer so people tend to throw problems at me. I tend to take things personally, and I over-react. All of these qualities make me vulnerable to attack.
I'm learning to step back and remember that the things that are thrown at me aren't always about me. As I considered building walls around my heart, God spoke to me. He said, "Put Jesus in the middle of your relationships." Jesus will protect me better than any wall I could ever build. Jesus in the middle of my relationships allows me to be real and open and transparent. Jesus in the middle of my relationships allows me to love deeply and give freely. Jesus in the middle of my relationships allows me to be the real me. With Jesus in the middle of my relationships, I need not fear being hurt or disappointed. He will guard my heart and fill it with His love.
I'm learning to step back and remember that the things that are thrown at me aren't always about me. As I considered building walls around my heart, God spoke to me. He said, "Put Jesus in the middle of your relationships." Jesus will protect me better than any wall I could ever build. Jesus in the middle of my relationships allows me to be real and open and transparent. Jesus in the middle of my relationships allows me to love deeply and give freely. Jesus in the middle of my relationships allows me to be the real me. With Jesus in the middle of my relationships, I need not fear being hurt or disappointed. He will guard my heart and fill it with His love.
Saturday, September 12, 2015
THE purpose
I went to my Bible this morning for encouragement. I was headed toward Philippians 4, but the pages opened to Hebrews 12 and these underlined verses...Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (verses 1-3) I started writing in my journal and this is what showed up on the pages. I hope it will encourage you like it did me.
I need to throw off everything that hinders and the sin that entangles. What are those things for me? I'm sure there are more things that hinder and entangle me, but these are the things that came to mind this morning.
I need to throw off everything that hinders and the sin that entangles. What are those things for me? I'm sure there are more things that hinder and entangle me, but these are the things that came to mind this morning.
- comparison and feeling insignificant
- listening to lies from the enemy that I allow to make me feel insecure
- looking to people instead of Jesus
- being distracted by my to-do list
- taking things personally
- allowing my brain to think on things that are NOT true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8...I did get there!)
- withdrawing from God and from people because I fear being hurt or rejected
When I feel alone in the struggle of life, I need to remember that Jesus felt alone in His struggle too. He even said, "My God, my God, why have You forsaken Me?" I know in my head that God will never forsake me. I need to believe it in my heart, say it, and live like it. Deuteronomy 31:6 says, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you." It was true for Joshua and it is true for me too!
I have a race to run called life. God has a purpose and a plan for my life (and yours too). My race is unlike the race He has planned for anyone else. The goal of the enemy is to make me give up, to make me stop, to make me quit before I reach the finish line. My purpose is not just in reaching the finish line. It is found all along the race course. The journey of life is a significant part of the purpose.
When God created people (you can read about it in Genesis), He had one purpose in mind. That purpose was relationship. He envisioned us being in relationship with Him and with each other. My life should be about relationships...with God first, and then with other people. Yes, heaven is the finish line, but the race is all about relationships!
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
eternal perspective
The recent passing of my brother in law from earth to heaven made me eternity mindful. I had the opportunity to talk to him about Jesus and to make sure that I would see him in heaven someday. Eternity is a concept that only God truly understands. I don't even pretend to grasp forever in His presence. But, the idea of eternity with my loving Father God puts the things of this earth into perspective.
The Bible speaks of our troubles on this earth being momentary. In God's big picture, my hurts, frustrations, and problems are so very small. The Bible also compares our lives to a vapor. Our time here on earth is so brief. And yet, God loves each one of us so very much. So much that He sent His only Son to earth to redeem us from the curse of sin and death so that we can have a relationship with Him for eternity! I'm so grateful!
This morning I was talking to God about feeling insignificant. I have those days like everyone else does. He said, "Dawn, you may not be doing things that are spectacular in your own eyes, but you are doing things that matter for eternity! I see and I know, even if no one else does." And that's enough for me. I'm going to keep my eyes on Jesus who kept His eyes on the joy set before Him. And I'm praying that He would give me His eternal perspective.
This morning I was talking to God about feeling insignificant. I have those days like everyone else does. He said, "Dawn, you may not be doing things that are spectacular in your own eyes, but you are doing things that matter for eternity! I see and I know, even if no one else does." And that's enough for me. I'm going to keep my eyes on Jesus who kept His eyes on the joy set before Him. And I'm praying that He would give me His eternal perspective.
Monday, August 10, 2015
The Lord is my Shepherd
I've spent much of the summer meditating on Psalm 23, a psalm that I've known since I was a kid. Jesus has been my Savior for many years. I asked Him into my heart when I was 9. But, I never really allowed Him to be my Shepherd. Psalm 23 caught my eye one morning in June as I read my Bible and I stopped and reread it again and again. I remembered a book that I'd been given in college by a friend and mentor called "A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23" by Phillip Keller. I still have it (I rarely get rid of books!) and I dug it out and read it.
As I read both my Bible and Phillip Keller's book, Jesus asked me hard questions. Will you trust Me? Will you trust Me to be your Shepherd? Will you believe that I am your Shepherd and you shall not be in want? Will you follow Me to green pastures, quiet waters, and paths of righteousness? Will you trust me with EVERYTHING?
I had an intense day of praying, wrestling in my mind, and letting go before I could truthfully and wholeheartedly answer YES to Jesus. I'm learning to go to Him first with every concern. I'm learning to ask Him for His plan (and to let go of mine). I'm learning to desire His path of righteousness instead of my path of control and chaos. I'm learning to trust Him with everything.
It's not easy. My problem solving brain wants to do things my way. A lifetime of thought and behavior patterns are changing. Thankfully, I don't have to do it alone! My Good Shepherd is with me, guiding me in paths of righteousness, loving me even when I choose my own way, providing for my every need. I simply choose to follow Him. My heart declares, "The Lord is my Shepherd!"
As I read both my Bible and Phillip Keller's book, Jesus asked me hard questions. Will you trust Me? Will you trust Me to be your Shepherd? Will you believe that I am your Shepherd and you shall not be in want? Will you follow Me to green pastures, quiet waters, and paths of righteousness? Will you trust me with EVERYTHING?
I had an intense day of praying, wrestling in my mind, and letting go before I could truthfully and wholeheartedly answer YES to Jesus. I'm learning to go to Him first with every concern. I'm learning to ask Him for His plan (and to let go of mine). I'm learning to desire His path of righteousness instead of my path of control and chaos. I'm learning to trust Him with everything.
It's not easy. My problem solving brain wants to do things my way. A lifetime of thought and behavior patterns are changing. Thankfully, I don't have to do it alone! My Good Shepherd is with me, guiding me in paths of righteousness, loving me even when I choose my own way, providing for my every need. I simply choose to follow Him. My heart declares, "The Lord is my Shepherd!"
Saturday, August 1, 2015
recovery
Recovery...I can describe this summer with that one word. June was spent recovering from an intense but awesome school year. Slowing down, ignoring thoughts of school work to be done, reading, running, spending time with my guys. July started with surgery and then the oh-so-slow process of recovering from that.
The first week after surgery was rough. I was sore, swollen, and tired, and I allowed myself to slide into a pit of self-pity and depression. Yikes! I'm so grateful for my husband who tells it like it is and gave me a wake up call! I hate not being strong and I hate needing help. There are things that I still cannot do and I have to admit it. I'm learning to ask for help and to allow people to help me, and I hope that lesson will stick with me.
I am still sore, swollen, and tired (much to my dismay!), but I'm getting better every day and I'm seeing the blessings of this recovery summer. I've been given the gift of time. Time to sit and relax with Joe and Christopher. Time for slow walks and talks with Christopher. Time for coffee and conversation with dear friends. Time to focus on my relationship with Jesus...reading my Bible, praying, learning to depend on my Shepherd to take care of me. (And on a less serious note, time to sleep whenever I feel like it! :))
Recovery needs to be part of my daily life, even when the soreness, swelling, and tiredness are gone. When school starts, there will be many tasks to get done, but I still need to take time for my family, my friends, and my Savior. I"m determined to find recovery time in each day!
I am still sore, swollen, and tired (much to my dismay!), but I'm getting better every day and I'm seeing the blessings of this recovery summer. I've been given the gift of time. Time to sit and relax with Joe and Christopher. Time for slow walks and talks with Christopher. Time for coffee and conversation with dear friends. Time to focus on my relationship with Jesus...reading my Bible, praying, learning to depend on my Shepherd to take care of me. (And on a less serious note, time to sleep whenever I feel like it! :))
Recovery needs to be part of my daily life, even when the soreness, swelling, and tiredness are gone. When school starts, there will be many tasks to get done, but I still need to take time for my family, my friends, and my Savior. I"m determined to find recovery time in each day!
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
the next step
I have a thing about heights...I'm not very fond of them. Unless I'm enclosed by something solid and secure (a car, a plane, even the gondola of a hot air balloon), I feel insecure and unsure and even fearful when the ground looks far away. I was thinking about dealing with fear this morning, and God reminded me of another lesson from the Horsetooth Adventure.
There is a place at the top of Horsetooth Rock that is down on both sides and the "level" surface at the top is not very wide. (Okay, it's probably at least 3 feet wide, but I felt like I was balancing on a wire!) I paused on the way up thinking to myself, "Do I really want to do that?" God immediately whispered to my heart, "Just keep your eyes on the next step. Do not look to the right or to the left. Look straight ahead and then take the next step." One step at a time, I made it across to watch the most amazing sunrise I have ever seen! I crossed again with more confidence on the way back down.
There is a huge life lesson in this for me. Keep my eyes on the next step. Don't be distracted by whatever is to the right and to the left. Don't get paralyzed in fear of the distractions. Look straight ahead and take that next step and keep moving forward. Move through life one step at a time. Take in the amazing views and be grateful. Learn and gain confidence in the One who guides me. The next step is a glorious one!
There is a place at the top of Horsetooth Rock that is down on both sides and the "level" surface at the top is not very wide. (Okay, it's probably at least 3 feet wide, but I felt like I was balancing on a wire!) I paused on the way up thinking to myself, "Do I really want to do that?" God immediately whispered to my heart, "Just keep your eyes on the next step. Do not look to the right or to the left. Look straight ahead and then take the next step." One step at a time, I made it across to watch the most amazing sunrise I have ever seen! I crossed again with more confidence on the way back down.
There is a huge life lesson in this for me. Keep my eyes on the next step. Don't be distracted by whatever is to the right and to the left. Don't get paralyzed in fear of the distractions. Look straight ahead and take that next step and keep moving forward. Move through life one step at a time. Take in the amazing views and be grateful. Learn and gain confidence in the One who guides me. The next step is a glorious one!
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Lessons from Horsetooth Rock
I made it to the top of Horsetooth Rock yesterday in time to watch the sunrise. It's not a 14er, and thousands of people climb to the top each year, but for this uncoordinated and inexperienced climber it was a big deal! I'd attempted the 5 mile round trip 2 years ago, but I stopped before getting to the top. Fear, frustration, and exhaustion won that day. I'm a stronger girl 2 years later...stronger mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I needed to conquer Horsetooth to prove to myself that I have grown and become stronger and to put some fears and failures to rest. Everything in life has deeper meaning for me, and climbing Horsetooth was no exception. God used yesterday's adventure to remind me of important lessons.
1. What looks impossible is possible one step at a time. I am a big picture, goal oriented person and I tend to get overwhelmed by the details between me and the goal. Yesterday, I literally took one step at a time, looking up occasionally to appreciate God's glorious creation! I'm learning to look for the next step in life too and simply take one step at a time.
2. Friends are a precious gift from God! I already knew that in the core of my being, but God reminded me yesterday how much I need my friends. I am blessed with friends who encourage me and accept me with all my weaknesses. I am blessed with friends who help me navigate the trail ahead and offer a hand when it's needed. I am blessed with friends who understand my need to be tough and independent and will simply walk beside me.
3. When God calls me to do something, there will be doubts and fears and obstacles. The day before we climbed Horsetooth Rock, my head was filled with doubts. You will slow everyone down and frustrate them, you'll never make it, you'll disappoint people, you'll fall and hurt yourself (a very real possibility!), and on and on. Ridiculous! Those doubts and fears are nothing but lies from the enemy who is trying to stop me! I'm learning to replace the lies with God's truth, but the enemy still tries to shut me down. Jesus and I win, always!
4. God will orchestrate everything perfectly if I will stop trying to control things! Yesterday was a perfect example. I took care of my designated responsibilities, but my only expectation was to get myself to the top, The group of friends who showed up was just right! The weather was beautiful and there weren't too many others on the trail. The views were glorious and the sunrise was spectacular! I would not have changed a thing and it was all out of my control! God told me as I watched the sun come up, that He painted the sunrise especially for me! I could not have planned a more perfect morning!
It was a climb for me to remember! A sunrise I will NEVER forget! An amazing morning filled with blessings!
1. What looks impossible is possible one step at a time. I am a big picture, goal oriented person and I tend to get overwhelmed by the details between me and the goal. Yesterday, I literally took one step at a time, looking up occasionally to appreciate God's glorious creation! I'm learning to look for the next step in life too and simply take one step at a time.
2. Friends are a precious gift from God! I already knew that in the core of my being, but God reminded me yesterday how much I need my friends. I am blessed with friends who encourage me and accept me with all my weaknesses. I am blessed with friends who help me navigate the trail ahead and offer a hand when it's needed. I am blessed with friends who understand my need to be tough and independent and will simply walk beside me.
3. When God calls me to do something, there will be doubts and fears and obstacles. The day before we climbed Horsetooth Rock, my head was filled with doubts. You will slow everyone down and frustrate them, you'll never make it, you'll disappoint people, you'll fall and hurt yourself (a very real possibility!), and on and on. Ridiculous! Those doubts and fears are nothing but lies from the enemy who is trying to stop me! I'm learning to replace the lies with God's truth, but the enemy still tries to shut me down. Jesus and I win, always!
4. God will orchestrate everything perfectly if I will stop trying to control things! Yesterday was a perfect example. I took care of my designated responsibilities, but my only expectation was to get myself to the top, The group of friends who showed up was just right! The weather was beautiful and there weren't too many others on the trail. The views were glorious and the sunrise was spectacular! I would not have changed a thing and it was all out of my control! God told me as I watched the sun come up, that He painted the sunrise especially for me! I could not have planned a more perfect morning!
It was a climb for me to remember! A sunrise I will NEVER forget! An amazing morning filled with blessings!
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
nothing more than feelings
Christopher and I watched the movie "Inside Out" (Disney Pixar) last week. I loved the way joy, sadness, anger, and fear were personified! It made me think about how I handle and process my emotions. I feel everything deeply, 24/7, and I am very aware of how situations make me feel. God created us with emotions, but sometimes I wish I didn't have them!
This morning, I was feeling sad and I had no idea why. My brain went into problem solving mode...how do I fix this? I can ignore it and hope that it will go away. I can deny feeling sad and shove it down. I can pretend that everything is great and nothing is bothering me. None of those were good options for me, although they seem to work for other people. I have to process and deal with my feelings. I became introspective and discovered 2 causes of my sadness. #1 I still have days that I miss my Grandma terribly. #2 I feel like my summer is being stolen from me by uveitis and surgery.
I went to my Father God and told Him I was feeling sad and why. He reminded me that it is ok to grieve, as long as I grieve with the hope of seeing Grandma again in heaven someday, and I know that I will. God also reminded me of Joel 2:25 which says, "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten..." If I will only trust Him, God will redeem this time that I see as wasted.
My feelings are real to me, but they aren't always God's truth. I need to give them to Jesus and continue to fill my heart and my mind with truth from the Bible, then my feelings can be exactly what they are...nothing more than feelings.
This morning, I was feeling sad and I had no idea why. My brain went into problem solving mode...how do I fix this? I can ignore it and hope that it will go away. I can deny feeling sad and shove it down. I can pretend that everything is great and nothing is bothering me. None of those were good options for me, although they seem to work for other people. I have to process and deal with my feelings. I became introspective and discovered 2 causes of my sadness. #1 I still have days that I miss my Grandma terribly. #2 I feel like my summer is being stolen from me by uveitis and surgery.
I went to my Father God and told Him I was feeling sad and why. He reminded me that it is ok to grieve, as long as I grieve with the hope of seeing Grandma again in heaven someday, and I know that I will. God also reminded me of Joel 2:25 which says, "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten..." If I will only trust Him, God will redeem this time that I see as wasted.
My feelings are real to me, but they aren't always God's truth. I need to give them to Jesus and continue to fill my heart and my mind with truth from the Bible, then my feelings can be exactly what they are...nothing more than feelings.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
light in the darkness
The Bible is filled with verses that call us to be a light in the darkness. (Some of my favorites are Isaiah 60:1-2, Isaiah 58:8,10; Proverbs 4:18. There are so many more!) I love these verses because my name, Dawn, means to begin to become light as the sun rises. That is who I am and who God has called me to be.
During the day on Monday, my left eye became more and more light sensitive. By afternoon, I could not even keep it open outside. My eye doctor diagnosed me with uveitis...inflammation of the iris and the muscles that open and close it to control the amount of light that gets into my eye. By that evening, my eye could only tolerate complete darkness. Even a flashlight caused pain. I was miserable, but it got me thinking about light and darkness.
Fear and depression smother us with darkness, and our world is overwhelmed by them. They separate us from the light and love of God. The devil's goal is to keep us isolated in the dark using fear and depression. Darkness makes me withdraw from people and from God and cower in a corner. If I am covered by fear, I'm not letting the light of Jesus shine on me or through me. I have to take a stand against fear and depression (see the blog titled "all clear of fear!") so I can stay in the glorious light of God's love. When I am living in His light, then I can shine His light in the darkness!
During the day on Monday, my left eye became more and more light sensitive. By afternoon, I could not even keep it open outside. My eye doctor diagnosed me with uveitis...inflammation of the iris and the muscles that open and close it to control the amount of light that gets into my eye. By that evening, my eye could only tolerate complete darkness. Even a flashlight caused pain. I was miserable, but it got me thinking about light and darkness.
Fear and depression smother us with darkness, and our world is overwhelmed by them. They separate us from the light and love of God. The devil's goal is to keep us isolated in the dark using fear and depression. Darkness makes me withdraw from people and from God and cower in a corner. If I am covered by fear, I'm not letting the light of Jesus shine on me or through me. I have to take a stand against fear and depression (see the blog titled "all clear of fear!") so I can stay in the glorious light of God's love. When I am living in His light, then I can shine His light in the darkness!
Saturday, June 13, 2015
comfortable in my skin
"I wish I was comfortable in my skin" was my thought this morning as I dried my hair. I'll be 46 in a few months, and you'd think that I would have that figured out...at least I think I should! My skin has freckles, smile lines (aka wrinkles), and scars...so many scars from surgeries and running wipe outs. None of those things really bother me and I don't even try to hide them. What does bother me is the extra adipose tissue (aka fat) under my skin...just being honest. It's been a lifelong battle for me...one that I'm genetically programmed to be in. Yikes! This isn't going to be a weight loss and fitness blog...it's an issue that's deeper than that for me.
Why can't I look at myself the same way I look at the people that I love? When I think of the people in my heart, I think of their hearts and souls and who they are underneath their skin. I love the people that God made them to be. Why don't I love myself the same way? Why don't I look past my superficial flaws and love the deep girl inside that is fearfully and wonderfully made by God?
I have some choices to make. Stop comparing. Stop letting the numbers on the scale and my clothes define me. Look for the beautiful person inside me, just like I do with anyone else. Be Dawn Marie Karr and let Jesus shine through me. Be comfortable in my own skin!
Sunday, June 7, 2015
all clear of fear!
Today is National Cancer Survivor Day and my pastor asked me to share at church what God has been doing in my life since the cancer adventure. I felt like God was calling me to talk about my battle with fear, especially in the last year and a half. For me, the word cancer equals fear. I remember being terrified when that word was used about me. I dealt with fear even as a small child, not because I had any reason to, but because the devil used it against me.
As an adult, I would be literally paralyzed by fear. I listened to the lies of the enemy, believed them, and let fear take over my mind and my heart. I bought the lies that were whispered in my ear about me, and they lead to fear. I fell for it...the tactics of the enemy effectively shut me down.
I am so grateful for my pastors! They prayed and spoke truth to me! Another pastor friend recommended the book "Victory Over the Darkness" by Neil Anderson. It is filled with scripture; Biblical truth about who I am in Christ. And I realized that it was up to me to fill my mind with truth...God's word from the Bible...every single day so there was no room for the lies. When you know the truth, the lies are obvious and easier to get rid of!
It's a daily choice I make to fill my mind and heart with the truth about who God is and who I am. Every time the enemy lies to me, I go back to the truth. I quickly recognize the symptoms of fear, and I draw near to God and to the truth.
Here are my favorite fight fear scriptures:
Deuteronomy 31:4-6, 7-8
Joshua 1:9
Psalm 27:1, 3; 34:4-5; 46:1-3; 91 the whole chapter
Proverbs 3:25-26
Isaiah 41:10, 13; 43:18-21; 54:14; 58:9, 11; 60:1-2
Jeremiah 17:7-8
Romans 8:28, 31
Philippians 4:6-8
And I will continue to add to this list as I find more!
When I finished speaking this morning, Pastor Stephanie came to me and said, "Do you remember the words that God gave me when you were diagnosed with cancer?" Of course I do...ALL CLEAR. She said, "God says those words again for this situation...all clear of fear! There are no little tentacles of fear left in you! You are all clear of fear!"
Awesome! I don't know what plans God has for me and my family, but I don't need to be anxious. He is in control and His plans are always for my good! I am all clear of fear!
As an adult, I would be literally paralyzed by fear. I listened to the lies of the enemy, believed them, and let fear take over my mind and my heart. I bought the lies that were whispered in my ear about me, and they lead to fear. I fell for it...the tactics of the enemy effectively shut me down.
I am so grateful for my pastors! They prayed and spoke truth to me! Another pastor friend recommended the book "Victory Over the Darkness" by Neil Anderson. It is filled with scripture; Biblical truth about who I am in Christ. And I realized that it was up to me to fill my mind with truth...God's word from the Bible...every single day so there was no room for the lies. When you know the truth, the lies are obvious and easier to get rid of!
It's a daily choice I make to fill my mind and heart with the truth about who God is and who I am. Every time the enemy lies to me, I go back to the truth. I quickly recognize the symptoms of fear, and I draw near to God and to the truth.
Here are my favorite fight fear scriptures:
Deuteronomy 31:4-6, 7-8
Joshua 1:9
Psalm 27:1, 3; 34:4-5; 46:1-3; 91 the whole chapter
Proverbs 3:25-26
Isaiah 41:10, 13; 43:18-21; 54:14; 58:9, 11; 60:1-2
Jeremiah 17:7-8
Romans 8:28, 31
Philippians 4:6-8
And I will continue to add to this list as I find more!
When I finished speaking this morning, Pastor Stephanie came to me and said, "Do you remember the words that God gave me when you were diagnosed with cancer?" Of course I do...ALL CLEAR. She said, "God says those words again for this situation...all clear of fear! There are no little tentacles of fear left in you! You are all clear of fear!"
Awesome! I don't know what plans God has for me and my family, but I don't need to be anxious. He is in control and His plans are always for my good! I am all clear of fear!
Thursday, June 4, 2015
glancing backwards, facing forward
I've been reflecting on the past 4 years. Sunday is National Cancer Survivor Day and my pastor asked me to speak about the things that God has done in my life since my colon cancer adventure. So much to say in a few minutes! Anyway, I've been looking back and listening to God and trying to figure out what of the last 4 years would bless someone listening. I've also been thinking about the value of glancing backwards while I'm moving forward.
Some people are coordinated enough to look behind while still moving the opposite direction. I am not one of them! If I am not giving my full attention to what is in front of me, I run into something or trip and fall. It happens frequently when I'm running and I get distracted. It happens to me in life too. I'll be moving forward and glance back at something and get totally derailed. I find myself getting trapped by the failures of the past and overwhelmed by what is still ahead. But, looking back can be so inspiring. It's good to see where you've been and what you've learned and the things that have been survived...like looking down the trail from the top of a mountain.
The enemy would love to trap us in our pasts. He loves to remind me of my failures and my insecurities and my fears. I have realized that I can't spend too long looking back at the past or the devil will pull me into the pit of despair. I've been there before and it's so easy for me to slide back into that nasty place. I'm well acquainted with the lies that lead me there, but somehow I still fall for them.
The Bolder Boulder taught me a great lesson. I was running a completely unknown course. I had NO idea what was ahead, except the finish line. I never looked behind me; I faced forward and took in the sights and sounds along the way. I had my eyes on the goal...crossing the finish line at Folsom Field...and no obstacles were going to trip me up.
Bottom line...for me anyway...is to keep facing forward. When I do look back it is to glance at the things that made me a survivor, celebrate the victories and lessons learned, express my gratitude to God, and then move forward into the glorious unknown. I know that God has amazing things in my future and I don't want to get stuck in my past!
Some people are coordinated enough to look behind while still moving the opposite direction. I am not one of them! If I am not giving my full attention to what is in front of me, I run into something or trip and fall. It happens frequently when I'm running and I get distracted. It happens to me in life too. I'll be moving forward and glance back at something and get totally derailed. I find myself getting trapped by the failures of the past and overwhelmed by what is still ahead. But, looking back can be so inspiring. It's good to see where you've been and what you've learned and the things that have been survived...like looking down the trail from the top of a mountain.
The enemy would love to trap us in our pasts. He loves to remind me of my failures and my insecurities and my fears. I have realized that I can't spend too long looking back at the past or the devil will pull me into the pit of despair. I've been there before and it's so easy for me to slide back into that nasty place. I'm well acquainted with the lies that lead me there, but somehow I still fall for them.
The Bolder Boulder taught me a great lesson. I was running a completely unknown course. I had NO idea what was ahead, except the finish line. I never looked behind me; I faced forward and took in the sights and sounds along the way. I had my eyes on the goal...crossing the finish line at Folsom Field...and no obstacles were going to trip me up.
Bottom line...for me anyway...is to keep facing forward. When I do look back it is to glance at the things that made me a survivor, celebrate the victories and lessons learned, express my gratitude to God, and then move forward into the glorious unknown. I know that God has amazing things in my future and I don't want to get stuck in my past!
Monday, June 1, 2015
why me?
I read the obituary of a high school friend who lost his battle with cancer and ringing in my ears was the question, "Why me?" Why am I the cancer survivor and so many that I've loved have not survived? If I'm not careful, that question can lead me to "survivor guilt" and questioning my worth. I let those questions run amuck in my mind a year and a half ago and it lead to depression.
Today, I asked that question of God again. Why me, God? I have so much to live for...my precious family, amazing friends, a job that's more than a job...and on and on. There is no question in my mind that I should survive, but doesn't everyone feel that way? I may never know the answer while I'm here on earth, but I do know that God has amazing plans for my life...plans for good and not for calamity to give me a future and a hope! (Jeremiah 29:11) I've learned so much in the last year about my purpose in God's plan and who this girl inside me really is and what she can do.
And I've learned that when I ask the question "why me?" that the devil is happy to fill my head with lies..."It shouldn't have been you" or "You aren't worth it" or "No one would miss you anyway". And I used to believe him, but that was then. This is now...and now I know that I'm a fighter and a survivor...I have purpose and vision! And even if my existence mattered to no one else, I have a God who loves me so much that He sent His son to earth to die for ME, so that He can have a relationship with me now and for eternity.
Sunday is National Cancer Survivor Day and I promise I won't be asking the "why me?" question! I'll be thanking God for life, love, purpose, and abundant blessings!
Today, I asked that question of God again. Why me, God? I have so much to live for...my precious family, amazing friends, a job that's more than a job...and on and on. There is no question in my mind that I should survive, but doesn't everyone feel that way? I may never know the answer while I'm here on earth, but I do know that God has amazing plans for my life...plans for good and not for calamity to give me a future and a hope! (Jeremiah 29:11) I've learned so much in the last year about my purpose in God's plan and who this girl inside me really is and what she can do.
And I've learned that when I ask the question "why me?" that the devil is happy to fill my head with lies..."It shouldn't have been you" or "You aren't worth it" or "No one would miss you anyway". And I used to believe him, but that was then. This is now...and now I know that I'm a fighter and a survivor...I have purpose and vision! And even if my existence mattered to no one else, I have a God who loves me so much that He sent His son to earth to die for ME, so that He can have a relationship with me now and for eternity.
Sunday is National Cancer Survivor Day and I promise I won't be asking the "why me?" question! I'll be thanking God for life, love, purpose, and abundant blessings!
Saturday, May 30, 2015
transitions
Life is filled with transitions, but that doesn't mean I like them! The world around me is always changing, forcing me to transition. My dislike probably has to do with control...or lack of it...over the things that require me to adjust. I'm a control freak, but I'm realizing more and more that life would be easier if I would just embrace changes rather than fighting against them.
I imagine myself tubing on a river. I'll never get anywhere if I don't let go of my launching point or if I get to the middle of the river and decide I'd rather stay in the safety of the known place and try to get back there. There will be rocks and maybe even white-water, but there will also be scenery, the sound of running water, and adventure to greet me. A trip on the river is always worth it if I can let go and float with the current.
The big transitions were easy for me...marrying Joe, moving into our house, and having Christopher were changes that I immediately embraced. But, the past school year was filled with change...new classroom, new schedule, new students, new expectations. It took some time, but when I finally decided to stop fighting against the new, I had an amazing year! Good lesson!
Yesterday, I saw my schedule for next year...completely different again. My first response was frustration, but then God reminded me that I ended up loving my new schedule this year. Give it time, float on the river, it will be okay, and maybe you will like it even better! Thank you, Jesus for bringing growth in me!
Today, I'm in another transition. The transition from intense school year to summer...from driven schedule to relaxation...from constant interaction with people to more time than I know what to do with for myself...from doing what I have to do to doing what I want to do. It's hard to believe, but that transition can be hard for me, even as much as I love summer! Today, I decided to embrace the freedom and the unknown of summer. I don't know what my schedule will be from day to day, but it will certainly be an adventure! I don't know which friends I will get to spend low-stress, quality time with, but God does. He knows what is in my future and He knows what I need to get refilled. I just need to trust Him and enjoy the journey...and that is what I intend to do for the rest of my life!
Thursday, May 28, 2015
forging friendship
"Friendships never just happen. They are forged." -Ann Voskamp
When I read this quote yesterday, it resonated deeply within me. I had to look up the meaning of the word forge...to form or bring into being especially by an expenditure of effort. I used to think that my friendships were accidental or coincidental. The path of my life just happened to cross with the path of someone else. Recently, God reminded me that my friendships are completely intentional...brought specifically into my life by Him. Not something to be taken for granted, but something extremely valuable. A gift given to me by a God who loves me.
I'm a relationship person through and through. I value relationships above anything else, but I don't always treat them as carefully chosen gifts from God. Forging friendship takes time, effort, commitment, forgiveness, acceptance, and a lot more! I am a deep relationship kind of person...it is hard for me to be superficial. I am so grateful that God has given me friends who accept that part of me.
My friends are kindred spirits and iron-sharpening-iron in my life. They understand me, encourage me, pray for me. They also make me stronger by challenging me to get out of my safe box and become bolder. Sometimes we rub each other the wrong way and there are misunderstandings, but we forge stronger friendships by working through those hard things. Forging friendship isn't always easy, but it is always worth the effort for me and brings blessings to my life!
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Bolder: a lesson from the Bolder Boulder
Webster's dictionary defines the word bold: not afraid of danger or difficult situations; showing confidence or lack of fear; fearless before danger.
I ran the famous Bolder Boulder 10K race yesterday. It was filled with firsts. First 10K race run by myself. First time to run on the hills of Boulder. First time to run with 51,000 people. First race with live music on the sideline for 6.2 miles. (I LOVED that, by the way!) First race that felt more like a parade for the entire city of Boulder. And on and on.
If you know me very well, you know that I dislike being in unknown situations and being in crowds by myself. I see myself as an insecure person who prefers to know what she's getting into. When I am in a crowd, I seek to be with someone who makes me feel "safe". This race was SOOO out of my comfort zone in so many ways!
I arrived at the start line by myself. Joe was looking for parking...a nearly impossible task...so I walked to the start line alone. The plan was to meet my brother-in-law and start the race together. How would I ever find him in all those people? I prayed. And God answered...I practically ran into him. If only I could live like that...taking all my cares to Jesus...big and small. The starting gun fired and I was on my own, but not really. I had Jesus with me and that makes all the difference!
The good news is that I survived! The better news is that I loved it! The best news is that I'm stronger than I think! I would love for the word BOLD to describe me. I would love to be fearless, confident, not afraid. I have decided that I am going to practice being bolder! I am going to get out of the box that I put myself in more often! I am going to do things that I've never done before! I am going to take risks!
I want to live the lyrics of one of my favorite songs..."The Great Adventure" by Steven Curtis Chapman.
Saddle up your horses we've got a trail to blaze
Through the wild blue yonder of God's amazing grace
Let's follow our Leader into the glorious unknown
This is a life like no other...this is the Great Adventure!
I ran the famous Bolder Boulder 10K race yesterday. It was filled with firsts. First 10K race run by myself. First time to run on the hills of Boulder. First time to run with 51,000 people. First race with live music on the sideline for 6.2 miles. (I LOVED that, by the way!) First race that felt more like a parade for the entire city of Boulder. And on and on.
If you know me very well, you know that I dislike being in unknown situations and being in crowds by myself. I see myself as an insecure person who prefers to know what she's getting into. When I am in a crowd, I seek to be with someone who makes me feel "safe". This race was SOOO out of my comfort zone in so many ways!
I arrived at the start line by myself. Joe was looking for parking...a nearly impossible task...so I walked to the start line alone. The plan was to meet my brother-in-law and start the race together. How would I ever find him in all those people? I prayed. And God answered...I practically ran into him. If only I could live like that...taking all my cares to Jesus...big and small. The starting gun fired and I was on my own, but not really. I had Jesus with me and that makes all the difference!
The good news is that I survived! The better news is that I loved it! The best news is that I'm stronger than I think! I would love for the word BOLD to describe me. I would love to be fearless, confident, not afraid. I have decided that I am going to practice being bolder! I am going to get out of the box that I put myself in more often! I am going to do things that I've never done before! I am going to take risks!
I want to live the lyrics of one of my favorite songs..."The Great Adventure" by Steven Curtis Chapman.
Saddle up your horses we've got a trail to blaze
Through the wild blue yonder of God's amazing grace
Let's follow our Leader into the glorious unknown
This is a life like no other...this is the Great Adventure!
Saturday, May 16, 2015
The Power of Love
I can't help but hear Huey Lewis singing in my head when I write that, and it makes me smile because that is not the kind of love I'm writing about. Don't get me wrong...I want to be loved by the people in my life as much as anyone...and I am so grateful to be surrounded by people who love me. But, human love is conditional, selfish, and filled with expectations...at least mine is. The Bible says "God is love" and His love is unconditional, unselfish, and perfect.
God loves us so much, that He sent His only Son to die a torturous death for us...and then be raised to life! If that's not true love, I don't know what is. A perfect God gives the best gift of love to have eternal relationship with imperfect people. Absolutely overwhelming! He loves me the same all the time...even when I mess up! He gives me more than enough love...enough to share. It isn't about me; it's about giving Jesus' love to others.
I'm learning how to love. I'm learning how to love people the way they need to be loved...God's way. I'm learning to be dependent on God's love and blessed by people love! Divine love is changing my life from the inside out...that's the power of love!
God loves us so much, that He sent His only Son to die a torturous death for us...and then be raised to life! If that's not true love, I don't know what is. A perfect God gives the best gift of love to have eternal relationship with imperfect people. Absolutely overwhelming! He loves me the same all the time...even when I mess up! He gives me more than enough love...enough to share. It isn't about me; it's about giving Jesus' love to others.
I'm learning how to love. I'm learning how to love people the way they need to be loved...God's way. I'm learning to be dependent on God's love and blessed by people love! Divine love is changing my life from the inside out...that's the power of love!
Saturday, May 9, 2015
Mom
My whole life I wanted to be a wife and a mom. That was, and still is, my deepest desire. I can imagine God chuckling as He made me, "I'm going to give this one a mother's heart. A heart that loves deeply, longs to help, and overflows with words of encouragement. She is going to feel things deeply, but I will give her a strong heart. She will spend her life learning to depend on Me." And I am learning.
I married the love of my life when I was almost 31, but our miracle boy didn't come along until I was 37. I will never forget holding him for the first time. I loved middle of the night feedings...his hand holding my finger and his feet always moving! /I rocked him to sleep until he was 2 years old...I wouldn't trade those moments for anything! And now, this same boy is almost as tall as I am at the age of 8. He hugs me and says I love you on his terms. He asks lots of questions and watches everything. His favorite thing is hanging out with his dad. He loves God and he loves music and he loves people. He is my son. He made me a mom. I will always love him and I will always be grateful!
By the time Christopher was born, God had brought me to another place where my mother's heart was needed...Liberty Common School/Liberty Common High School. I get to be "mom" during the day to a school full of kids. The other day, I was walking down the hall with some students. One of them said, "Let's walk behind Mrs. Karr and pretend she's our mom...I guess that isn't hard to imagine!" :) I love that! Those words filled my heart. God has called me to LCHS to be a teacher and to be a "mom". I am so grateful that God had already planned a place for me and my mother's heart before I had any idea how He would use me!
God made me to be a mom! He gave me my biological son to love! He gave me a job that gives me joy and allows me to be the Dawn Karr that He created! I am so blessed!
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Life is a symphony
Disclaimer: I apologize to the true musicians in my life who might be reading this. My analogy might be lacking in knowledge, but it was so meaningful to me that I have to write about it. Please forgive me!
I was thinking, as I ran, about God orchestrating my life and I realized that I could describe life as a symphony performance. God is both the composer and the conductor of the music that is my life. This particular piece of music has many movements, each with its own unique tempo, key signature (and accidentals!), dynamics, and instrumentation. Sometimes there is dissonance or disharmony, but it is beautiful and purposeful too. The music may be unusual and cause me to cringe, but eventually I grow to appreciate it.
The performance is the culmination of hours and hours of practice done by the musicians. Each instrument and musician is a necessary part of the symphony. There may be solo parts, but it wouldn't be a symphony without every part! All of the parts play TOGETHER to create a masterpiece!
We all make mistakes; we are human. Those mistakes aren't usually obvious to anyone but those close to us and our Conductor and ourselves. Many times, the audience doesn't even know a mistake has been made. Thankfully, the Conductor is full of grace and forgiving. He knows us so well and He encourages us to keep going. One mistake does not ruin the symphony, but I often act as though my mistakes have ruined everything!
God, our Great Conductor, can work in ALL things for GOOD! He can turn my life into a beautiful symphony, even when I feel like I've made glaring mistakes. If I will only follow His leading, keep practicing, and pay attention to the others who are part of the same symphony, there will be beautiful music in my life!
I was thinking, as I ran, about God orchestrating my life and I realized that I could describe life as a symphony performance. God is both the composer and the conductor of the music that is my life. This particular piece of music has many movements, each with its own unique tempo, key signature (and accidentals!), dynamics, and instrumentation. Sometimes there is dissonance or disharmony, but it is beautiful and purposeful too. The music may be unusual and cause me to cringe, but eventually I grow to appreciate it.
The performance is the culmination of hours and hours of practice done by the musicians. Each instrument and musician is a necessary part of the symphony. There may be solo parts, but it wouldn't be a symphony without every part! All of the parts play TOGETHER to create a masterpiece!
We all make mistakes; we are human. Those mistakes aren't usually obvious to anyone but those close to us and our Conductor and ourselves. Many times, the audience doesn't even know a mistake has been made. Thankfully, the Conductor is full of grace and forgiving. He knows us so well and He encourages us to keep going. One mistake does not ruin the symphony, but I often act as though my mistakes have ruined everything!
God, our Great Conductor, can work in ALL things for GOOD! He can turn my life into a beautiful symphony, even when I feel like I've made glaring mistakes. If I will only follow His leading, keep practicing, and pay attention to the others who are part of the same symphony, there will be beautiful music in my life!
Saturday, April 18, 2015
stay in your niche!
In the study of ecology, a niche is an extremely important concept. A niche is an organism's occupation; its role in the environment. A niche defines the physical and biological conditions in which an organism lives and how it interacts with those conditions. No 2 species can share the same niche in the same habitat.
As I was explaining niche to my 9th graders, I gave the example of a mountain lion. What if he got tired of being a carnivore and hunting and decided to become an herbivore, grazing like a cow? I asked them what would happen. They gave great answers! The animals that the mountain lion ate would become overpopulated. There would be a grass shortage. If the producer (the grass) in the environment runs out, everything else dies. The mountain lion has the wrong teeth and the wrong digestive enzymes for grass anyway. He would make himself miserable! Serious consequences for one species deciding he doesn't like who he is.
It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? But, I frequently find myself thinking thoughts similar to the fictitious mountain lion. If only I looked like ______. If only I didn't feel and think so deeply and I could be superficial. If only I could be a teacher like ______. And on and on. We are not perfect, but we are made in God's image and made by His hands! He designed me to fit perfectly into my niche, and it is ridiculous for me to try to fit somewhere else! I'm only making myself miserable and adversely affecting every one around me!
Truthfully, I like my niche! I think I'll stay! :)
homeostasis
The AP biology textbook that I use in my class defines homeostasis as "internal balance regardless of the external environment". Every system, every organ, every cell in the human body is Divinely designed and programmed to maintain homeostasis. If something knocks us out of homeostasis, our own body kicks in to restore it. Absolutely amazing!
When I read "internal balance regardless of the external environment", the emotional part of me cried out for homeostasis too. I had a time in March when my heart felt as though it was made of glass, fragile and easily shattered. I knew then that something in me needed to change. I cried out to God about my heart, and He showed me my heart made of strong muscle and held by His loving and protecting hands. Jesus holds my heart...and He loves me and I trust Him.
I cannot control my "external environment". I can only control the response that comes from inside me to maintain homeostasis. I still feel disappointment, anxiety, sadness, anger, fear, hurt, etc. But, God is teaching me, and reminding me, to trust Him. I choose my response. I am learning to say, "Jesus, this situation makes me feel ______, and I can't do anything about it. Will you please take care of it for me? Thank you!" Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus". It's a promise that God keeps. Every time I pray that prayer, He gives me His peace...a peace that's beyond anything that I can understand.
I'll be practicing Philippians 4 for the rest of my life. I want that to be my first response to every situation. God's peace is my homeostasis!
When I read "internal balance regardless of the external environment", the emotional part of me cried out for homeostasis too. I had a time in March when my heart felt as though it was made of glass, fragile and easily shattered. I knew then that something in me needed to change. I cried out to God about my heart, and He showed me my heart made of strong muscle and held by His loving and protecting hands. Jesus holds my heart...and He loves me and I trust Him.
I cannot control my "external environment". I can only control the response that comes from inside me to maintain homeostasis. I still feel disappointment, anxiety, sadness, anger, fear, hurt, etc. But, God is teaching me, and reminding me, to trust Him. I choose my response. I am learning to say, "Jesus, this situation makes me feel ______, and I can't do anything about it. Will you please take care of it for me? Thank you!" Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus". It's a promise that God keeps. Every time I pray that prayer, He gives me His peace...a peace that's beyond anything that I can understand.
I'll be practicing Philippians 4 for the rest of my life. I want that to be my first response to every situation. God's peace is my homeostasis!
Saturday, March 28, 2015
always BRAVE
I have a new survivor bracelet, a bracelet that reminds me what it means for me to be a cancer survivor. The band is my favorite shade of blue and the unusual metal part holds the words I want to live by...always BRAVE. I haven't been very brave lately. My heart has been sad and fragile since my grandma went to heaven, and so I have hidden behind a smile. I have held back my words; too much risk to let my heart be seen. It is time for me to be brave again!
Bravery comes in many shapes and sizes. It can be a physical act of courage. It can be living through a battle with depression. It can be fighting an illness. It can be dying for your faith, as people in other parts of the world are doing right now. It can be an honest conversation. It can be standing up for someone less fortunate. It can be having the courage to love. It can be so many more things. In every case, being brave means feeling or showing no fear; not afraid.
The only way that I can ever be brave is with Jesus standing next to me. The Bible is filled with verses that I read regularly to remind me that I do not have to live in fear. I can be always BRAVE!
The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid? Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident. Psalm 27:1, 3
I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. Psalm 34:4-5
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Psalm 46:1-3
You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. Psalm 91 (I love this whole Psalm!)
Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared. Proverbs 3:24-26
So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:10, 13
In righteousness you will be established; Tyranny will be far from you; you will have nothing to fear. Terror will be far removed; it will not come near you. Isaiah 54:14
You came near when I called You, and You said, "Do not fear." Lamentations 3:57
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7
If you struggle with fear, call out to God and grab a hold of those awesome words that show us the way to being always BRAVE!
Bravery comes in many shapes and sizes. It can be a physical act of courage. It can be living through a battle with depression. It can be fighting an illness. It can be dying for your faith, as people in other parts of the world are doing right now. It can be an honest conversation. It can be standing up for someone less fortunate. It can be having the courage to love. It can be so many more things. In every case, being brave means feeling or showing no fear; not afraid.
The only way that I can ever be brave is with Jesus standing next to me. The Bible is filled with verses that I read regularly to remind me that I do not have to live in fear. I can be always BRAVE!
The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid? Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident. Psalm 27:1, 3
I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. Psalm 34:4-5
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Psalm 46:1-3
You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. Psalm 91 (I love this whole Psalm!)
Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared. Proverbs 3:24-26
So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:10, 13
In righteousness you will be established; Tyranny will be far from you; you will have nothing to fear. Terror will be far removed; it will not come near you. Isaiah 54:14
You came near when I called You, and You said, "Do not fear." Lamentations 3:57
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7
If you struggle with fear, call out to God and grab a hold of those awesome words that show us the way to being always BRAVE!
Saturday, March 7, 2015
she became a butterfly
Just when the caterpillar thought her life was over, she became a butterfly. I saw this and shared it on Facebook today. It spoke to the deep places in my heart and got me thinking about caterpillars, and metamorphosis, and butterflies, and myself. In so many ways, and on so many levels, this is an analogy for my life, and probably for yours too.
The caterpillar is just going about her business, eating leaves and avoiding birds. Maybe she knows and maybe she doesn't know about the big changes that await her. Meanwhile, she is growing bigger and preparing for the next stage of life. She is probably content and comfortable being a caterpillar, but at some point, something in her knows that the time has come, and she builds a cocoon to protect herself during a very vulnerable time in her life.
It is somewhat mysterious what exactly happens during the process of metamorphosis. We can't see inside the chrysalis and watch the changes happening. There are a lot of biological, biochemical, and morphological miracles going on and it seems to me that it is probably painful, or at least uncomfortable. One organism goes in, and another comes out. But it is not an overnight process; it takes time and patience.
The wait is worth it! When the metamorphosis is complete, a beautiful butterfly slowly emerges. Her emergence is yet another struggle that builds strength in her wings. She appears to be delicate and fragile, but she is stronger than you think. Soon, she is soaring above the earth. Caught by the breeze, she flies freely through the air, maybe glancing back at the cocoon that once protected her and knowing that she can never return to it. She is no longer confined to the ground, and the challenges it held for her seem small from her new perspective.
Her new-found beauty and strength and purpose is not appreciated by all. The birds still see her as food. Little boys and entomologists see her as a specimen to be collected. But some, like me, will stop and watch her with longing. Longing to be changed into something beautiful, longing to soar above the struggles of life, longing for purpose. I believe that God can work this kind of change inside me, and you, if we are willing. Someday, I hope I can say of myself, "She became a butterfly!"
The caterpillar is just going about her business, eating leaves and avoiding birds. Maybe she knows and maybe she doesn't know about the big changes that await her. Meanwhile, she is growing bigger and preparing for the next stage of life. She is probably content and comfortable being a caterpillar, but at some point, something in her knows that the time has come, and she builds a cocoon to protect herself during a very vulnerable time in her life.
It is somewhat mysterious what exactly happens during the process of metamorphosis. We can't see inside the chrysalis and watch the changes happening. There are a lot of biological, biochemical, and morphological miracles going on and it seems to me that it is probably painful, or at least uncomfortable. One organism goes in, and another comes out. But it is not an overnight process; it takes time and patience.
The wait is worth it! When the metamorphosis is complete, a beautiful butterfly slowly emerges. Her emergence is yet another struggle that builds strength in her wings. She appears to be delicate and fragile, but she is stronger than you think. Soon, she is soaring above the earth. Caught by the breeze, she flies freely through the air, maybe glancing back at the cocoon that once protected her and knowing that she can never return to it. She is no longer confined to the ground, and the challenges it held for her seem small from her new perspective.
Her new-found beauty and strength and purpose is not appreciated by all. The birds still see her as food. Little boys and entomologists see her as a specimen to be collected. But some, like me, will stop and watch her with longing. Longing to be changed into something beautiful, longing to soar above the struggles of life, longing for purpose. I believe that God can work this kind of change inside me, and you, if we are willing. Someday, I hope I can say of myself, "She became a butterfly!"
Monday, February 16, 2015
You are not alone!
The staff at my school participated in suicide prevention training on Friday. It made me think. It made me reflect from both perspectives...the desperate and the lifesaver. Neither place is easy.
Many people have been in the shoes of the desperate. The place where the lies in your head are so thick that there is no light. It happens to all kinds of people with all kinds of belief systems. Christians and people with strong faith are not immune to the lies of the enemy that lead to depression, and they deal with shame and condemnation for feeling that way. Even Robin Williams, one of the most loved people on this planet, felt that there was only one way out of the darkness.
If you are feeling desperate right now, reach out for help. Tell someone how dark it is. Someone will hold your hand and help you find your way out of the darkness. Someone will shine a light on the path for you. Death is not the answer! Don't give up! You are not alone!
All of us can be lifesavers. If someone in your life reaches out to you, hold their hand and shine a light in the darkness. If you are unable to help, connect them with someone who can help. It could be the difference between life and death!
If you are feeling depressed, call out the name of Jesus. He will come immediately and shine His light into your darkness. Seek out a pastor or a Christian friend who can help you find a pastor. Fill your mind with truth from the Bible so that there is no room for the lies. God loves you and you are not alone!
Many people have been in the shoes of the desperate. The place where the lies in your head are so thick that there is no light. It happens to all kinds of people with all kinds of belief systems. Christians and people with strong faith are not immune to the lies of the enemy that lead to depression, and they deal with shame and condemnation for feeling that way. Even Robin Williams, one of the most loved people on this planet, felt that there was only one way out of the darkness.
If you are feeling desperate right now, reach out for help. Tell someone how dark it is. Someone will hold your hand and help you find your way out of the darkness. Someone will shine a light on the path for you. Death is not the answer! Don't give up! You are not alone!
All of us can be lifesavers. If someone in your life reaches out to you, hold their hand and shine a light in the darkness. If you are unable to help, connect them with someone who can help. It could be the difference between life and death!
If you are feeling depressed, call out the name of Jesus. He will come immediately and shine His light into your darkness. Seek out a pastor or a Christian friend who can help you find a pastor. Fill your mind with truth from the Bible so that there is no room for the lies. God loves you and you are not alone!
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Be a red blood cell
Two days ago, I was teaching about red blood cells in my anatomy and physiology class. Red blood cells (RBCs) have no nucleus, they only live for 100-120 days, and they really aren't like any other cell. I said to my class, "I wonder if RBCs ever think...I'm not a real cell. I don't have a nucleus. I'm not like all the other cells. I can't divide. I can't make protein. What is my purpose? I don't belong here! I'm not important!"
We'd be in big trouble if RBCs gave up and quit doing what they are made to do. RBCs are specially and uniquely made for their life giving function...carrying oxygen and getting rid of carbon dioxide. What if they tried to be like other cells? They would not be able to bring life giving oxygen to the other cells who depend on them! RBCs are the ONLY cell that is made to carry oxygen. They must do their job so that all the other cells can do their jobs. What a mess it would be if red blood cells tried to be like other cells. In fact, it would be a fatal mistake!
Are you seeing the correlation? I can't speak for you, but I have spent my entire life trying to fit in, trying to belong, trying to be like people whom I admire. The truth is that no one else is like me. I can bring life to people through God's love and the words that I speak, and I encourage them to do the things that God has called them to do. It is ridiculous for me to try to be someone else...as ridiculous as RBCs trying to be a different cell.
It is no mistake that the Apostle Paul compared the church to the human body. We each have a unique and wonderful part to play in God's plan. It's impossible for me to be someone else, just as it is impossible for RBCs to be neurons or muscle cells. We are specially created by God for the purpose He has for us. Who will fulfill my purpose if I am busy trying to be someone else? And why would I give so much effort toward being like someone else when it is so easy to be me? I am already programmed to be Dawn Marie Karr. I am fearfully and wonderfully made to be me! I choose to be a "red blood cell"!
We'd be in big trouble if RBCs gave up and quit doing what they are made to do. RBCs are specially and uniquely made for their life giving function...carrying oxygen and getting rid of carbon dioxide. What if they tried to be like other cells? They would not be able to bring life giving oxygen to the other cells who depend on them! RBCs are the ONLY cell that is made to carry oxygen. They must do their job so that all the other cells can do their jobs. What a mess it would be if red blood cells tried to be like other cells. In fact, it would be a fatal mistake!
Are you seeing the correlation? I can't speak for you, but I have spent my entire life trying to fit in, trying to belong, trying to be like people whom I admire. The truth is that no one else is like me. I can bring life to people through God's love and the words that I speak, and I encourage them to do the things that God has called them to do. It is ridiculous for me to try to be someone else...as ridiculous as RBCs trying to be a different cell.
It is no mistake that the Apostle Paul compared the church to the human body. We each have a unique and wonderful part to play in God's plan. It's impossible for me to be someone else, just as it is impossible for RBCs to be neurons or muscle cells. We are specially created by God for the purpose He has for us. Who will fulfill my purpose if I am busy trying to be someone else? And why would I give so much effort toward being like someone else when it is so easy to be me? I am already programmed to be Dawn Marie Karr. I am fearfully and wonderfully made to be me! I choose to be a "red blood cell"!
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Stronger
In a moment in which I was responding emotionally (and badly, I might add!), a friend said to me, "Hey, you're stronger than that!" I've written before about struggles and strength, but for some reason that statement smacked into me and stuck. I have a cancer survivor shirt that says, "I'm stronger than you think I am", but it should probably say, "I'm stronger than I think I am"! I don't see myself as strong...physically, spiritually, emotionally, or intellectually. I often see myself as struggling to overcome, but never quite succeeding. It's time for my self image to change!
At this moment in time, I feel weak, but if I look back in time just a few months, I am quickly reminded that I am much stronger now than I was then. Stronger is a process that requires struggle. Life, it seems, is a series of uphill struggles. Some are ginormous and seem unconquerable, but some are small, and yet I look at them as mountains. I forget that "all things are possible with God"! (Mark 10:27) And then, I forget to stop and enjoy the view and celebrate the breakthrough when I reach the top before I head down to the next valley.
We all have struggles and we all have weaknesses. When we acknowledge our weaknesses, God can be strong! The Apostle Paul said, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength!" (Philippians 4:13) We will always need God, but we are getting stronger every day, one step at a time, one battle at a time, one victory at a time. Our bodies, our faith, our emotions, and our minds can get stronger with exercise, but exercise is of little value without challenge and struggle. In the struggle, muscle, faith, gratitude, and the ability to take our thoughts captive become stronger. I am grateful for the struggles and grateful for the breakthroughs! I am stronger than that!
At this moment in time, I feel weak, but if I look back in time just a few months, I am quickly reminded that I am much stronger now than I was then. Stronger is a process that requires struggle. Life, it seems, is a series of uphill struggles. Some are ginormous and seem unconquerable, but some are small, and yet I look at them as mountains. I forget that "all things are possible with God"! (Mark 10:27) And then, I forget to stop and enjoy the view and celebrate the breakthrough when I reach the top before I head down to the next valley.
We all have struggles and we all have weaknesses. When we acknowledge our weaknesses, God can be strong! The Apostle Paul said, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength!" (Philippians 4:13) We will always need God, but we are getting stronger every day, one step at a time, one battle at a time, one victory at a time. Our bodies, our faith, our emotions, and our minds can get stronger with exercise, but exercise is of little value without challenge and struggle. In the struggle, muscle, faith, gratitude, and the ability to take our thoughts captive become stronger. I am grateful for the struggles and grateful for the breakthroughs! I am stronger than that!
Saturday, January 10, 2015
effective communication
Communication is my passion! Webster's Dictionary defines communicate in these ways: to give information about something to someone by speaking, writing, moving your hands, etc.; to get someone to understand your thoughts or feelings. Every cell in me was made to do this. Maybe that's one of the reasons I became a teacher. I have lots of opportunities during a day to communicate, but I fear that I often end up sounding like the teacher on the Charlie Brown cartoons...blah blah blah blah blah...to my students and to the people around me. I've been thinking endlessly this week...mostly out of my own frustration...about how to communicate effectively. Here are some of my thoughts and some things I want demonstrate in my own communication.
Be a good listener. Communication is a two-way street. There is no point in communication if no one is listening, reading, etc. I could go in my back yard and talk, but it wouldn't be communication in my mind since no one would be taking it in. Sometimes I feel that way about my blog and the things that I put on Facebook...is anyone out there reading this??? I can't do anything about anyone else, but I can work on being a good listener myself!
Be considerate. Every time I read Philippians 2:3-4 (Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.), I am convicted. There are so many times that I want what I want...especially in communication. Trying to talk to someone when they have things to get done is not usually effective. Nor is talking to someone whose mind is occupied elsewhere. I try to be considerate, but there is always room for improvement.
Words matter, choose wisely. Yesterday, I heard myself say, "I wish I could just say what pops into my head and not worry about it!" I do wish that, but that isn't who I am! Words are so important to me! I often have conversations in my head before they come out of my mouth. Whenever I speak out of hurt and frustration without thinking, the words are filled with snark and animosity and I ALWAYS regret it. In a situation of conflict, my words can help or they can wound. Words spoken from my negative feelings always wound. I am learning to step back and wait for my crazy emotions to wane and for the right time to speak words of life into a situation. I also have a terrible habit of saying the same thing over and over...great for teaching but horrendous for communicating one on one! I've been trying to be more concise and more intentional with my communication. I'm working on this one!
Choose the audience and the time wisely. Not everyone in my life wants to hear everything that I am going through all the time. I process things verbally, but I leave a conversation feeling discouraged if I choose the wrong person and/or the wrong time to share. This one is a challenge for me because I strive to be considerate. Timing can be everything...and usually mine is off! I try not to communicate anything of importance when I am tired (or when the other person is tired) because I'm a selfish communicator and not a good listener and my feelings are easily hurt.
I encouraged myself and processed a brain full of thoughts with this one! I hope you might be challenged and encouraged by something you read!
Be a good listener. Communication is a two-way street. There is no point in communication if no one is listening, reading, etc. I could go in my back yard and talk, but it wouldn't be communication in my mind since no one would be taking it in. Sometimes I feel that way about my blog and the things that I put on Facebook...is anyone out there reading this??? I can't do anything about anyone else, but I can work on being a good listener myself!
Be considerate. Every time I read Philippians 2:3-4 (Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.), I am convicted. There are so many times that I want what I want...especially in communication. Trying to talk to someone when they have things to get done is not usually effective. Nor is talking to someone whose mind is occupied elsewhere. I try to be considerate, but there is always room for improvement.
Words matter, choose wisely. Yesterday, I heard myself say, "I wish I could just say what pops into my head and not worry about it!" I do wish that, but that isn't who I am! Words are so important to me! I often have conversations in my head before they come out of my mouth. Whenever I speak out of hurt and frustration without thinking, the words are filled with snark and animosity and I ALWAYS regret it. In a situation of conflict, my words can help or they can wound. Words spoken from my negative feelings always wound. I am learning to step back and wait for my crazy emotions to wane and for the right time to speak words of life into a situation. I also have a terrible habit of saying the same thing over and over...great for teaching but horrendous for communicating one on one! I've been trying to be more concise and more intentional with my communication. I'm working on this one!
Choose the audience and the time wisely. Not everyone in my life wants to hear everything that I am going through all the time. I process things verbally, but I leave a conversation feeling discouraged if I choose the wrong person and/or the wrong time to share. This one is a challenge for me because I strive to be considerate. Timing can be everything...and usually mine is off! I try not to communicate anything of importance when I am tired (or when the other person is tired) because I'm a selfish communicator and not a good listener and my feelings are easily hurt.
I encouraged myself and processed a brain full of thoughts with this one! I hope you might be challenged and encouraged by something you read!
Saturday, January 3, 2015
in ALL things
And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
I have loved this verse for a long time, but it was only 4 months ago that it started to become real to me. I found myself in situations that seemed hopeless, painful, and fearful. In the midst of one of these situations, God spoke. He said, "I will work in ALL things for your good! This situation is included in ALL things. I will work for your good because YOU are called according to my purpose!"
Wow! ALL things leaves nothing out. God can work in darkness and hopelessness and use it for my good. God can work when I am paralyzed by fear and use it for my good. God can work when my heart is broken and use it for my good. God can even work when all seems right with my world and use it for my good. ALL THINGS...everything that comes my way in life...the good, the bad, and the ugly...God will use it for my good. I am overwhelmed, amazed, and grateful!
God will do the same for you! This promise is for anyone who has answered God's call to his or her heart! Grab onto it! Believe it! God will work for your good in EVERY situation...in ALL things! Nothing is too big...no heartache, no fear, no regret, no darkness, no stress...God can work in ALL things for your good if you will let Him. Just ask Him. He promised He would work in ALL things!
I have loved this verse for a long time, but it was only 4 months ago that it started to become real to me. I found myself in situations that seemed hopeless, painful, and fearful. In the midst of one of these situations, God spoke. He said, "I will work in ALL things for your good! This situation is included in ALL things. I will work for your good because YOU are called according to my purpose!"
Wow! ALL things leaves nothing out. God can work in darkness and hopelessness and use it for my good. God can work when I am paralyzed by fear and use it for my good. God can work when my heart is broken and use it for my good. God can even work when all seems right with my world and use it for my good. ALL THINGS...everything that comes my way in life...the good, the bad, and the ugly...God will use it for my good. I am overwhelmed, amazed, and grateful!
God will do the same for you! This promise is for anyone who has answered God's call to his or her heart! Grab onto it! Believe it! God will work for your good in EVERY situation...in ALL things! Nothing is too big...no heartache, no fear, no regret, no darkness, no stress...God can work in ALL things for your good if you will let Him. Just ask Him. He promised He would work in ALL things!
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