healing

As I was sprawled on the sidewalk this morning, I thought to myself, "I haven't had a wipeout like this one in ages!"  I got up, checked my injuries, and started walking.  I had to get back home at least. I'd only walked a block or so before I got mad; I really hate it when I'm so uncoordinated!  I looked at my scraped and swollen knees and thought, "There's no blood running down my legs...I'm going for it!"  And the rest of my run was great...faster than I have run yet this summer.  The point is not my lack of coordination or that I run faster when I'm mad.  Now, I have wounds that need to heal.  They need to be cleaned and bandaged and cared for, but they will heal.  And, of course, I started thinking about relationships.  

In this life, we are going to have wounds that need to heal.  It is impossible to be in relationships without some hurts.  Loving makes us vulnerable.  I am not someone who can keep people at arms-length.  I work for deep, meaningful, long-term relationships and wounds are part of that deal.  People are not perfect and we are going to unintentionally hurt each other, even when we try so hard not to.  

The human way to deal with hurts is walking away, ending relationships, or putting up walls and pretending everything is okay. Wounds that aren't cared for don't heal well and sometimes they even get infected.  That isn't God's way.  His way is forgiveness and reconciliation.  He showed us that by sending Jesus, offering forgiveness and relationship to us.  In the end, I will always fight for relationships.  I will forgive.  I will work for resolution and reconciliation.  I will continue to love.  I will heal.

living the dream

I have a friend who responds with this statement whenever I ask how she is.  Maybe she is a bit sarcastic, but her words make me contemplate my own life.  Am I living the dream?

My 30 year high school reunion is next month...I don't even know how that is possible.  It seems like yesterday that I was walking the halls of Loveland High School and dreaming of the future.  17 year old Dawn dreamed of going to college, meeting Prince Charming, and being mom to lots of kids.  22 year old Dawn had a CSU diploma, but was still dreaming of Prince Charming and motherhood.  By this time, the dream had grown.  This Dawn in her 20's had leadership and evangelism experience from her years with Campus Crusade for Christ (Cru now) and she was ready to see the world and make a difference in it!  A few years down the road, the dream had changed slightly.  Younger me was looking for a teaching job, but never planned to make a career out of it.

And now, here I am...living the dream!  Married to my Prince Charming.  Mom to Christopher (and second mom to hundreds of my school kids!).  Teaching biology for more than 20 years...19 in my current job at Liberty Common High School.  Making a difference in the world, my little corner of it anyway.  God has given me the desires of my heart!

47 year old me is still a dreamer!  I still dream of seeing the world and making a difference every where I go.  I dream of writing a book.  I dream of running a marathon.  I dream of learning to play piano.  I have a head full of dreams, but I've been asking God what His dreams are for me.  He has the best plans for me...I never really expected to be where I am now, but God knew exactly what I need!  Until God opens the door to new dreams, I'm going to be faithful where I am.  Loving, teaching, serving, and praying for people in my little part of the world.  Living the dream!

content

The Apostle Paul had contentment figured out.  Right smack in the middle of one of my favorite chapters of the Bible he says, "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."  (Philippians 4:12)  Paul's life was not easy after he became a Christian.  He was a traveling missionary, trusting God to provide for his every need.  He was shipwrecked and imprisoned, and yet, he had learned the secret of being content.

You might be asking the same question I did...what was Paul's secret?  It is found in Philippians 4:4-9, 13, and 19.  This chapter is loaded with the secrets to living a contented life and I highly recommend reading it yourself.  I read it almost daily.  Here are the Dawn highlights:

• Rejoice in the Lord always!
• Don't be anxious.
• Pray about EVERYTHING.
• Be grateful!
• Think about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy.
• Be convinced (like Paul) that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
• Be convinced (like Paul) that God will meet all my needs!

I have an amazing life, but if I choose poorly, I can fall into discontent.  Life has moments when it is hard and imperfect and even hurtful, but God is always good!  It doesn't matter where I am or what is happening around me, I can always be grateful and talk to God about everything!  I am in charge of my brain and what it thinks on.  I choose to think on God's truth and throw out the lies that the enemy whispers in my ear.  I choose to fix my eyes on Jesus always and live a life of contentment!

the unknown

I'm learning to trust God with the unknown.  I am not omniscient...big surprise there...and my view is very human.  I can see the past and I can see the now, but I cannot see the future.  For much of my life, this has caused fear and anxiety.  My mind would imagine the worst, and I would end up literally paralyzed by fear of the "what-if".  I suppose in a weird way I wanted to be prepared for whatever came my way.  I struggled to control situations that could produce a version of my greatest fear...rejection...in a vain attempt to avoid it.  I was deceived by the enemy who wanted me to live my life immobilized by fear and anxiety rather than living the abundant life that God has for me.

Praise God!  He set me free from the clutches of the enemy!  He set me free from the need to "figure things out" and control situations!  He set me free from fear and anxiety...especially of the unknown!

My Father God is a patient teacher.  Old ways of thinking can be hard to escape, but whenever I feel myself sliding backwards, I say out loud, "God, I trust you with..."  And then I speak the truth found in the Bible.

Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.  Psalm 46:10

For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28

I'm learning to embrace the unknown, knowing that God has plans for me that give me hope and a future.  Knowing that God can (and will) work in all things for my good.  Knowing that God is God and He already has things figured out from the beginning of time to the end; there is nothing unknown to Him.  Knowing that my part is to listen to God and be obedient to Him as He leads me on a great adventure into the glorious unknown!