The Lord is my Shepherd

I've spent much of the summer meditating on Psalm 23, a psalm that I've known since I was a kid.  Jesus has been my Savior for many years.  I asked Him into my heart when I was 9.  But, I never really allowed Him to be my Shepherd.  Psalm 23 caught my eye one morning in June as I read my Bible and I stopped and reread it again and again.  I remembered a book that I'd been given in college by a friend and mentor called "A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23" by Phillip Keller.  I still have it (I rarely get rid of books!) and I dug it out and read it.

As I read both my Bible and Phillip Keller's book, Jesus asked me hard questions.  Will you trust Me?  Will you trust Me to be your Shepherd?  Will you believe that I am your Shepherd and you shall not be in want?  Will you follow Me to green pastures, quiet waters, and paths of righteousness?  Will you trust me with EVERYTHING?

I had an intense day of praying, wrestling in my mind, and letting go before I could truthfully and wholeheartedly answer YES to Jesus.  I'm learning to go to Him first with every concern.  I'm learning to ask Him for His plan (and to let go of mine).  I'm learning to desire His path of righteousness instead of my path of control and chaos.  I'm learning to trust Him with everything.

It's not easy.  My problem solving brain wants to do things my way.  A lifetime of thought and behavior patterns are changing.  Thankfully, I don't have to do it alone!  My Good Shepherd is with me, guiding me in paths of righteousness, loving me even when I choose my own way, providing for my every need.  I simply choose to follow Him.  My heart declares, "The Lord is my Shepherd!"

recovery

Recovery...I can describe this summer with that one word.  June was spent recovering from an intense but awesome school year.  Slowing down, ignoring thoughts of school work to be done, reading, running, spending time with my guys.  July started with surgery and then the oh-so-slow process of recovering from that.

The first week after surgery was rough.  I was sore, swollen, and tired, and I allowed myself to slide into a pit of self-pity and depression.  Yikes!  I'm so grateful for my husband who tells it like it is and gave me a wake up call!  I hate not being strong and I hate needing help.  There are things that I still cannot do and I have to admit it.  I'm learning to ask for help and to allow people to help me, and I hope that lesson will stick with me.

I am still sore, swollen, and tired (much to my dismay!), but I'm getting better every day and I'm seeing the blessings of this recovery summer.  I've been given the gift of time.  Time to sit and relax with Joe and Christopher.  Time for slow walks and talks with Christopher.  Time for coffee and conversation with dear friends.  Time to focus on my relationship with Jesus...reading my Bible, praying, learning to depend on my Shepherd to take care of me.  (And on a less serious note, time to sleep whenever I feel like it!  :))

Recovery needs to be part of my daily life, even when the soreness, swelling, and tiredness are gone.  When school starts, there will be many tasks to get done, but I still need to take time for my family, my friends, and my Savior.  I"m determined to find recovery time in each day!