who I am

My life has changed...for the better!  I'm almost 45 and I am finally seeing the truth about who I am.  It took some time in the bottom of the pit of despair before I realized that people don't define me; God does.  I've spent the last 2 months aggressively digging into my Bible, seeking to find myself.  My heart believed so many lies that needed to be uprooted and burned.  My name means "break of day" and "joy and praise", but the light had gone out and the joy was no where to be found.  Some might say that I was in a midlife crisis...and maybe I was.  I call it a turning point.  A time when the lies were first replaced with the truth.  The beginning of a truth journey.  A journey that will continue for the rest of my life.  I'm not immune to lies, but I am certainly more aware and daily filling myself with truth.  The truth has indeed set me free!

I wrote this today.  This is who I am.  This is God's truth about me.

 

Who I Am

Wife, mother, friend

Daughter, sister, granddaughter

Teacher, counselor

Listener, encourager, believer, optimist

Giver of Dawn hugs

Music lover, runner

Sunny on the inside

 

Beloved daughter and friend of God

Forgiven, redeemed, righteous

Called to an eternal purpose

Bringer of Light to the darkness

Lover and worshiper of my Savior

Warrior for the Truth

Joy and praise

Valuable

I am a number person.  I practice division in my head with license plate numbers.  I count steps as I walk.  I count the bunnies who scurry out of my way as I run.  I stand on the scale every morning.  I keep track of my running times and distances with my GPS watch.  I pay attention to the number of likes my blog entries get on Facebook.  I let numbers determine my value and how I feel about myself.  Ridiculous! 

God has given me a gift...the ability to see value and potential in people and to encourage them.  Why is it so hard for me to see my own value and potential?  Because the enemy wants to shut me down.  If I am convinced that I am worthless, I withdraw from people and the light of Jesus in me is never seen.  Pretty good tactic, except I'm on to it now!  I'm aware and watching and fighting the lies of the enemy with the truth of God's Word.

I cannot allow numbers, or people, or myself to define my worth.  The bottom line is that I am valuable regardless of any numbers!  God sent His only Son to die for ME!  That means I'm priceless to Him! 

Running my own race

Facebook messes with my head sometimes...and apparently they do it on purpose.  I get caught up in comparisons with my Facebook friends...my appearance, my running times and distances, my summer plans, my accomplishments, etc.  Crazy!  Somehow Facebook convinces me that I should be discontent in my amazing life!  Ridiculous!  I haven't given up Facebook...I love knowing what my friends are up to!  And I love being able to communicate!  But, there are days when I have to literally walk away from the comparisons.

God has called me to be someone and live a life that is different from anyone else.  There is only one Dawn Marie Dow Karr and I am the only person who can run the race that God set before me.  Trying to be like anyone else will only lead to frustration.  As a Christian, I am called to become more like Jesus, but God made that possible for me.  I will never be perfect.  I will never look like a model.  I will never win races.  I may never win awards for teaching.  I may never live what some would consider to be an exciting life.  I will be the best Dawn Karr that I can be with God's help!  I will run my own race at my own speed (literally and figuratively!) and love every minute of it!  I will keep my eyes on Jesus who is waiting for me at the finish line!

Take captive every thought...revisited

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  2 Corinthians 10:5

My brain is always working...even when I'm sleeping.  I'm a thinker and a planner and sometimes the stuff in my head consumes me.  My mind obsesses on conversations, situations, fears, doubts, and lies.  Where does all that junk come from?  The seeds of those weeds are planted by the enemy.  If I let those nasty seeds take root and grow in my head, there is no telling what craziness I might do when my thoughts run amuck.  I've been living that way for too long!

I am learning to take captive EVERY THOUGHT.  I am learning to recognize those seeds and dig them out before they can take over.  I have to replace the lies with the truth.  I'm aggressively seeking God's truth from the Bible.  It takes discipline to keep my brain on the right track, but it's worth it.  My beliefs, my words, and my actions are controlled by my thoughts.  The fruit of my life is dependent on the seeds that grow in my mind and spread to my heart and my spirit.   I am choosing to plant Godly seeds in my brain so that my life produces Godly fruit!