transitions

Life is filled with transitions, but that doesn't mean I like them!  The world around me is always changing, forcing me to transition.  My dislike probably has to do with control...or lack of it...over the things that require me to adjust.  I'm a control freak, but I'm realizing more and more that life would be easier if I would just embrace changes rather than fighting against them.  

I imagine myself tubing on a river.  I'll never get anywhere if I don't let go of my launching point or if I get to the middle of the river and decide I'd rather stay in the safety of the known place and try to get back there.  There will be rocks and maybe even white-water, but there will also be scenery, the sound of running water, and adventure to greet me.  A trip on the river is always worth it if I can let go and float with the current.

The big transitions were easy for me...marrying Joe, moving into our house, and having Christopher were changes that I immediately embraced.  But, the past school year was filled with change...new classroom, new schedule, new students, new expectations.  It took some time, but when I finally decided to stop fighting against the new, I had an amazing year!  Good lesson!

Yesterday, I saw my schedule for next year...completely different again.  My first response was frustration, but then God reminded me that I ended up loving my new schedule this year.  Give it time, float on the river, it will be okay, and maybe you will like it even better!  Thank you, Jesus for bringing growth in me!  

Today, I'm in another transition.  The transition from intense school year to summer...from driven schedule to relaxation...from constant interaction with people to more time than I know what to do with for myself...from doing what I have to do to doing what I want to do.  It's hard to believe, but that transition can be hard for me, even as much as I love summer!  Today, I decided to embrace the freedom and the unknown of summer.  I don't know what my schedule will be from day to day, but it will certainly be an adventure!  I don't know which friends I will get to spend low-stress, quality time with, but God does.  He knows what is in my future and He knows what I need to get refilled.  I just need to trust Him and enjoy the journey...and that is what I intend to do for the rest of my life!  

forging friendship

"Friendships never just happen.  They are forged."  -Ann Voskamp

When I read this quote yesterday, it resonated deeply within me.  I had to look up the meaning of the word forge...to form or bring into being especially by an expenditure of effort.  I used to think that my friendships were accidental or coincidental.  The path of my life just happened to cross with the path of someone else.  Recently, God reminded me that my friendships are completely intentional...brought specifically into my life by Him.  Not something to be taken for granted, but something extremely valuable.  A gift given to me by a God who loves me.  

I'm a relationship person through and through.  I value relationships above anything else, but I don't always treat them as carefully chosen gifts from God.  Forging friendship takes time, effort, commitment, forgiveness, acceptance, and a lot more!  I am a deep relationship kind of person...it is hard for me to be superficial.  I am so grateful that God has given me friends who accept that part of me.  

My friends are kindred spirits and iron-sharpening-iron in my life.  They understand me, encourage me, pray for me.  They also make me stronger by challenging me to get out of my safe box and become bolder.  Sometimes we rub each other the wrong way and there are misunderstandings, but we forge stronger friendships by working through those hard things.  Forging friendship isn't always easy, but it is always worth the effort for me and brings blessings to my life!

Bolder: a lesson from the Bolder Boulder

Webster's dictionary defines the word bold: not afraid of danger or difficult situations; showing confidence or lack of fear; fearless before danger.

I ran the famous Bolder Boulder 10K race yesterday.  It was filled with firsts.  First 10K race run by myself.  First time to run on the hills of Boulder.  First time to run with 51,000 people.  First race with live music on the sideline for 6.2 miles.  (I LOVED that, by the way!)  First race that felt more like a parade for the entire city of Boulder.  And on and on.

If you know me very well, you know that I dislike being in unknown situations and being in crowds by myself.  I see myself as an insecure person who prefers to know what she's getting into.  When I am in a crowd, I seek to be with someone who makes me feel "safe".  This race was SOOO out of my comfort zone in so many ways!

I arrived at the start line by myself.  Joe was looking for parking...a nearly impossible task...so I walked to the start line alone.  The plan was to meet my brother-in-law and start the race together.  How would I ever find him in all those people?  I prayed.  And God answered...I practically ran into him.  If only I could live like that...taking all my cares to Jesus...big and small.  The starting gun fired and I was on my own, but not really.  I had Jesus with me and that makes all the difference!

The good news is that I survived!  The better news is that I loved it!  The best news is that I'm stronger than I think!    I would love for the word BOLD to describe me.  I would love to be fearless, confident, not afraid.  I have decided that I am going to practice being bolder!  I am going to get out of the box that I put myself in more often!  I am going to do things that I've never done before!  I am going to take risks!

I want to live the lyrics of one of my favorite songs..."The Great Adventure" by Steven Curtis Chapman.
Saddle up your horses we've got a trail to blaze
Through the wild blue yonder of God's amazing grace
Let's follow our Leader into the glorious unknown
This is a life like no other...this is the Great Adventure!

The Power of Love

I can't help but hear Huey Lewis singing in my head when I write that, and it makes me smile because that is not the kind of love I'm writing about.  Don't get me wrong...I want to be loved by the people in my life as much as anyone...and I am so grateful to be surrounded by people who love me.  But, human love is conditional, selfish, and filled with expectations...at least mine is.  The Bible says "God is love" and His love is unconditional, unselfish, and perfect.

God loves us so much, that He sent His only Son to die a torturous death for us...and then be raised to life!  If that's not true love, I don't know what is.  A perfect God gives the best gift of love to have eternal relationship with imperfect people.  Absolutely overwhelming!  He loves me the same all the time...even when I mess up!  He gives me more than enough love...enough to share.  It isn't about me; it's about giving Jesus' love to others.

I'm learning how to love.  I'm learning how to love people the way they need to be loved...God's way.  I'm learning to be dependent on God's love and blessed by people love!   Divine love  is changing my life from the inside out...that's the power of love!

Mom

My whole life I wanted to be a wife and a mom.  That was, and still is, my deepest desire.  I can imagine God chuckling as He made me, "I'm going to give this one a mother's heart.  A heart that loves deeply, longs to help, and overflows with words of encouragement.  She is going to feel things deeply, but I will give her a strong heart.  She will spend her life learning to depend on Me."  And I am learning.  

I married the love of my life when I was almost 31, but our miracle boy didn't come along until I was 37.  I will never forget holding him for the first time.  I loved middle of the night feedings...his hand holding my finger and his feet always moving!  /I rocked him to sleep until he was 2 years old...I wouldn't trade those moments for anything!  And now, this same boy is almost as tall as I am at the age of 8.  He hugs me and says I love you on his terms.  He asks lots of questions and watches everything.  His favorite thing is hanging out with his dad.  He loves God and he loves music and he loves people.  He is my son.  He made me a mom.  I will always love him and I will always be grateful!

By the time Christopher was born, God had brought me to another place where my mother's heart was needed...Liberty Common School/Liberty Common High School.  I get to be "mom" during the day to a school full of kids.  The other day, I was walking down the hall with some students.  One of them said, "Let's walk behind Mrs. Karr and pretend she's our mom...I guess that isn't hard to imagine!"  :)  I love that!  Those words filled my heart.  God has called me to LCHS to be a teacher and to be a "mom".  I am so grateful that God had already planned a place for me and my mother's heart before I had any idea how He would use me!  

God made me to be a mom!  He gave me my biological son to love!  He gave me a job that gives me joy and allows me to be the Dawn Karr that He created!  I am so blessed!