pearls of relationship

 I value my people like pearls.  (If you haven't read what I wrote about pearls, you should stop and read that now.)  And like pearls, people require an investment of time and effort and responsibility.  I don't throw my strands of pearls on the floor to be walked on.  (The Bible talks about throwing pearls before swine.  Jesus was talking about pearls of wisdom, but I think His words apply here too.) I don't toss them in a drawer, lost and forgotten.  I care for them and keep track of them and I wear them often because I love them.  

We are guilty sometimes of choosing our relationships like costume jewelry.  They look good, but they aren't worth much.  There is no substance or value or hardship or time that formed them.  We don't invest time or effort or take responsibility for their care and growth.  They make us feel good and look good but when we are done wearing them we toss them on a table or in a drawer, forgotten until the next time we want their cheap sparkle.  

I want my relationships to adorn my life like my strands of pearls adorn my neck.  I want to invest time into them.  I want to get in the trenches with people when they are going through hard times, and create new pearls of friendship.  And honestly, I want friends who will do the same for me.  I'm seeking and investing in relationships that have substance and will become pearls of great value.

distracted

 I've been distracted by so many things.

Consumed with the need for human connection and affirmation.

Wanting to do something spectacular and Facebook-worthy.

Longing to be seen and heard and known.

Seeking purpose and validation.

Grieving deeply.

There is only one thing that really matters.

Jesus.

Fixing my eyes and my ears and my thoughts on Him.

Choosing obedience to Him.

Listening to His voice rather than my emotions.

Seeking Him above all the distractions.

Seeking Him to meet my needs.

Seeking Him for relationship.

Jesus.

When I live with open hands

When I live with open hands...

I cannot cling to people seeking comfort.

I cannot pick up things that are not mine to carry.

I cannot hit and fight and argue.

I cannot struggle for control.

I cannot hide.

When I live with open hands... 

I can receive what God has for me.

I can love and be loved.

I can live without fear.

I can be authentic and vulnerable.

I can live in freedom.

the pearl

 I love wearing pearls!  There is something about them that catches my eye.  Maybe it is their understated beauty: not flashy or sparkly like a diamond but unique and solid and pure.  For me, the fact that they come from a living thing is an added bonus.  

Oysters, clams, and mussels can all produce pearls.  It's a process that starts with irritation which would probably be classified as pain if the animals had a nervous system.  The mollusk itself is what we eat, but there is a layer just inside of the shell called the mantle.  The mantle secretes a substance called nacre which lines the inside of the shell and allows the shell to grow with the oyster.  The shell must be open so that the animal can eat, and in any water environment, a myriad of other materials can flow in at the same time.  If one of those foreign substances gets between the mantle and the shell, a pearl will be formed as the oyster covers it with layers of nacre to stop the irritation.

Pearls can be artificially stimulated when a pearl harvester opens the shell and makes a small cut in the mantle tissue, inserting an irritant in salt water or doing nothing else in fresh water.  Human caused pearl formations are called cultured pearls.  

I love wearing pearls because they are a symbol of strength and surviving to me.  Pearls come from facing the hard things in life and turning them into something beautiful.  Life can be difficult and painful as we go about the tasks of living in an evil world, but God can use those times to make something beautiful in us...something pure and strong and unique each time.  When the devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy, God still gives abundant life somehow.  God can work in all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.  And He can make beautiful pearls as He protects us.

express your gift

 I read these words written by Lysa TerKeurst in her devotional seeing beautiful again this morning, and they resonated with me.  They called to the deepest part of me, a part that I had intentionally buried for more than a year.  

The enemy of my soul didn't want me painting that day.  To create meant I would look a little bit like my creator.  to overcome the terrifying angst of the blank canvas meant I would forever have more compassion for other artists.  You'd better believe as I placed the first blue and gray strokes onto the white emptiness before me, "not good enough" was pulsing through my head in almost deafening tones.

And later in the devotional...

Pick up the paintbrush.  Put some paint on the emptiness.  Color-correct your perspective.  Forget the cravings for comfort zones.  Trade your judgment for compassion.  Put the brush to the canvas.  Declare yourself a painter.  And when someone steals all the lines from your coloring book, determine to color the world anyway with the same generous love God offers every day.

As I read Lysa's words, I knew that the blank canvas for me was my journal, this blog, spoken words.  I am forever changed by the loss of my dad.  Grief has become a part of me and I've allowed it to shut down the expressive gift that God gave me.  I won't ever be the person I was before again, but I can be the best version of me now.  I'm pursuing God.  I'm pursuing healing.  I will express my gift as God works in me.

These are difficult times we are living in.  But you have a gift.  One that was given to you to express in this time and place.  You are here now for a purpose.  We need your gift.  Don't be afraid or discouraged.  You may never know the impact your gift makes, but please express your gift!

 

 

 

detour

I absolutely love running in my neighborhood!  I have routes from 1 to 6 miles mapped out in my head, and I can shift my brain into autopilot once I know how far I am going.  I know where every uneven spot in the sidewalk is...I have scars on my knees from my up close and personal encounters with them.  I love the predictability and security that I feel when I run close to home.  I'm a girl who loves routine.

This morning I wanted to add some distance to what I've been running, but the street and the sidewalk on my usual longer route are closed.  We've got new drainage and fiber optic cables going in around our neighborhood, so there is a lot of digging going on.  Roads are closed and detour signs are everywhere.

I was praying as I ran about the uncertain world I see around me.  My faith is being challenged every where I turn.  Nothing seems comfortable or secure.  Change seems to be the only constant.  It is so easy for me to grow discontent, discouraged, and doubtful in times like these.

As I reached the top of a hill and the end of a street, I realized I had nowhere to go.  The cross street was closed in both directions and the sidewalk was occupied by equipment and large concrete pipes.  I let out a sigh of disgust and turned around to retrace my steps and find a new route.  DETOUR!

As I started back down the hill, God started speaking to my spirit.  Yes, there are roadblocks and detours in life right now.  But, I'm working.  The old paths are being torn up, and the improvements will be worth it.  Trust Me in the DETOUR.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him,who have been called according to His purpose.

    

fill me up

My friend, Brian Frable, wrote a song/prayer to God that says, "Fill me up, till I overflow.  I want to run over. I want to run over."  His words have become my own daily prayer to God in the last couple of months. 

God longs to be the One who fills us up, but we often think we need to do it ourselves.  Let me just say, me trying to fill me up never ends well.  In Galatians 5:19-23, the Apostle Paul made two lists; the fruits of our sinful nature and the fruits of the Spirit of God.  When I see the fruits of my sinful nature coming out, it is a wake up call to my spirit.  I'm empty of God and I'm filling up with me.  I need to spend time on my knees; repenting, praying, and listening. I need to allow the truth of God's word to fill me.  I often find myself whispering, "Jesus, fill me up."

How do I know that God wants to fill each one of us?  The Bible has so many verses that say so.  Here are some of my favorites:

And this hope will not lead to disappointment.  For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to FILL our hearts with His love.  Romans 5:5

I pray that God, the source of hope, will FILL you COMPLETELY with joy and peace because you trust in Him.  Then you will OVERFLOW with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13

And the church is His body; it is made FULL and COMPLETE by Christ who FILLS all things everywhere with Himself.  Ephesians 1:23

And my favorite...I read it and pray it every day...there is so much good truth here...

I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit.  Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him.  Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong.  And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is.  May you experience the love of Christ though it is too great to understand fully.  Then you will be made COMPLETE with all the FULLNESS of life and power that comes from God.  Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.  Ephesians 3:16-20

I'm so amazed by God!  He wants to fill us up completely, until He overflows out of us.  Not just a drop.  Not halfway.  COMPLETELY so we can share Him with the people around us.  God is enough to fill each one of us to overflowing.  He wants to fill us, we only need to ask.