express your gift

 I read these words written by Lysa TerKeurst in her devotional seeing beautiful again this morning, and they resonated with me.  They called to the deepest part of me, a part that I had intentionally buried for more than a year.  

The enemy of my soul didn't want me painting that day.  To create meant I would look a little bit like my creator.  to overcome the terrifying angst of the blank canvas meant I would forever have more compassion for other artists.  You'd better believe as I placed the first blue and gray strokes onto the white emptiness before me, "not good enough" was pulsing through my head in almost deafening tones.

And later in the devotional...

Pick up the paintbrush.  Put some paint on the emptiness.  Color-correct your perspective.  Forget the cravings for comfort zones.  Trade your judgment for compassion.  Put the brush to the canvas.  Declare yourself a painter.  And when someone steals all the lines from your coloring book, determine to color the world anyway with the same generous love God offers every day.

As I read Lysa's words, I knew that the blank canvas for me was my journal, this blog, spoken words.  I am forever changed by the loss of my dad.  Grief has become a part of me and I've allowed it to shut down the expressive gift that God gave me.  I won't ever be the person I was before again, but I can be the best version of me now.  I'm pursuing God.  I'm pursuing healing.  I will express my gift as God works in me.

These are difficult times we are living in.  But you have a gift.  One that was given to you to express in this time and place.  You are here now for a purpose.  We need your gift.  Don't be afraid or discouraged.  You may never know the impact your gift makes, but please express your gift!