I am a rock.

I frequently think that Simon and Garfunkel knew what they were talking about..."I am a rock.  I am an island...And a rock feels no pain; and an island never cries."  I can tolerate all kinds of physical pain, but when it comes to my heart, my pain tolerance drops.  Maybe it's because I wear my heart on my sleeve.  Maybe it's because I let people get close to my heart.  Maybe it's because I feel so deeply about everything.  At any rate, life can be painful to my heart in so many ways and I often wish that it wasn't! 
I used to always respond to hurt with anger.  That was my defense mechanism...my way to avoid true confrontation...and to avoid dealing with the real issue.  It was easier because it simply didn't hurt and I could lash out without thinking or feeling or caring.  But, it was selfish...all about me and my feelings and NOTHING ever changed...especially not me! 
Thankfully, I grew up and let God change my heart.  I realized that the cost of close relationships is getting hurt sometimes.  And, the joy of close relationships is well worth the cost!  I probably drive my family and friends crazy because I need to have hurts and misunderstandings resolved quickly.  I hope I am learning to approach people and situations in ways that diminish the hurt rather than magnify or multiply it.  I am practicing taking a deep breath and thinking before I speak, especially when my emotions are involved.  I would rather not be an instantaneous reactor to hurt, but be a kind and thoughtful friend.  Do my feelings still get hurt?  Yes.  Do I still want to be a rock?  Yes.  Do I still cry over hurts?  Absolutely!  (Some of you have seen it more than you'd like!)  Am I getting better at resolving hurt and protecting the hearts of those who are near and dear to me?  I'm working on it!