effective communication

Communication is my passion!  Webster's Dictionary defines communicate in these ways: to give information about something to someone by speaking, writing, moving your hands, etc.; to get someone to understand your thoughts or feelings.  Every cell in me was made to do this.  Maybe that's one of the reasons I became a teacher.  I have lots of opportunities during a day to communicate, but I fear that I often end up sounding like the teacher on the Charlie Brown cartoons...blah blah blah blah blah...to my students and to the people around me.  I've been thinking endlessly this week...mostly out of my own frustration...about how to communicate effectively.  Here are some of my thoughts and some things I want demonstrate in my own communication.

Be a good listener.  Communication is a two-way street.  There is no point in communication if no one is listening, reading, etc.  I could go in my back yard and talk, but it wouldn't be communication in my mind since no one would be taking it in.  Sometimes I feel that way about my blog and the things that I put on Facebook...is anyone out there reading this???  I can't do anything about anyone else, but I can work on being a good listener myself!

Be considerate.  Every time I read Philippians 2:3-4 (Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.), I am convicted.  There are so many times that I want what I want...especially in communication.  Trying to talk to someone when they have things to get done is not usually effective.  Nor is talking to someone whose mind is occupied elsewhere.  I try to be considerate, but there is always room for improvement.

Words matter, choose wisely.  Yesterday, I heard myself say, "I wish I could just say what pops into my head and not worry about it!"  I do wish that, but that isn't who I am!  Words are so important to me!  I often have conversations in my head before they come out of my mouth.  Whenever I speak out of hurt and frustration without thinking, the words are filled with snark and animosity and I ALWAYS regret it.  In a situation of conflict, my words can help or they can wound.  Words spoken from my negative feelings always wound.  I am learning to step back and wait for my crazy emotions to wane and for the right time to speak words of life into a situation.  I also have a terrible habit of saying the same thing over and over...great for teaching but horrendous for communicating one on one!  I've been trying to be more concise and more intentional with my communication.  I'm working on this one!

Choose the audience and the time wisely.  Not everyone in my life wants to hear everything that I am going through all the time.  I process things verbally, but I leave a conversation feeling discouraged if I choose the wrong person and/or the wrong time to share.  This one is a challenge for me because I strive to be considerate.  Timing can be everything...and usually mine is off!  I try not to communicate anything of importance when I am tired (or when the other person is tired) because I'm a selfish communicator and not a good listener and my feelings are easily hurt.

I encouraged myself and processed a brain full of thoughts with this one!  I hope you might be challenged and encouraged by something you read!