imperfect

After much thought and prayer, I've decided that my word for 2016 is imperfect.  I started striving for perfection at a young age.  My mom tells about when I was learning to write.  I would erase every letter that I deemed imperfect so many times that there would be holes in my paper.  Perfectionism has affected every area of my life.  It drove me to be a straight A student.  (That ended in college, by the way!)  It has caused tremendous amounts of stress as I tried to be the perfect daughter, sister, friend, student, teacher, wife, mother, housekeeper, Christian, and anything else that I can't think of at the moment.  Perfectionism opened the door to fear and anxiety and depression in me.

It has only been in the last couple of years that I have truly realized that I will NEVER on this earth reach perfection.  I'm human.  That's not an excuse, it's reality.  I will never be perfect at anything...and I'm grateful.  If I could be perfect on my own, I would have no need for Jesus.  It would be a lonely existence.  God calls me to be the best Dawn that I can be, but no where in the Bible does He ask me to be perfect.  He made me and He knows better than anyone my imperfections.  He asks me to learn and to grow in my life on this earth...to become more like Jesus...but He never expects me to reach perfection until I see Him in heaven.

What a relief!  I can let go of my own unrealistic expectations and be me.  I can do my best to be like Jesus.  I can be the best Dawn...wife, mom, friend, teacher, Christian, daughter, etc...that I can be while I follow Jesus and His example.  I can let go of the expectation of a perfect life.  I am the main character of my life, and therefore, it cannot be perfect!  :)

I'm sure that Mary and Joseph did not think a stable (some think it was actually a cave) was the perfect place for Jesus to be born.  I'm not sure I do either, but it was God's perfect plan for the beginning of Jesus life on earth.  He sees time from the beginning to the end, and His plans are way beyond my comprehension.  He knows the plans that He has for me, and they are plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future.  (Jeremiah 29:11)

So I'm embracing the imperfect this year.  Releasing myself to love life in spite of the imperfections.  Accepting that things will go wrong, at least from my perspective.  Believing that God works in ALL things for the good of those who love Him.  Knowing that God's plan is not always my perfect plan, and His plan is ALWAYS better!  Allowing God to wrap His arms around imperfect me and love me.  Embracing the imperfect.