becoming myself

Or "own your identity".  Or "don't even care if anyone sees me dancing".  It's been the struggle of my last 25 years.  After college, I found myself in a roommate situation that left deep wounds and fibrous scars.  Being Dawn wasn't good enough and I heard it often.  I responded by becoming a chameleon, never rocking the boat by speaking up, trying to avoid inevitable rejection.  I was held captive by the fear of rejection for years.  But I'm done with that!  God has set me free from the myriad of fears that plagued me and I have forgiven the hurts that were inflicted on me.

We are complicated and complex people.  No two of us have the same personalities...even genetically identical twins!  God made us this way: in His image but perfectly unique!  There is no one else exactly like me anywhere!  I've spent way too much time trying to be someone else, trying to fit in.  And the world missed out on some of the gifts God gave me to share.

I have a new theme song...Brand New by Ben Rector.  It's been out for a while, but I just heard it for the first time on Friday.  There are two lines in that song that make me want to sing as loud as I can and dance!  "I feel like for the first time in a long time I am not afraid" and "Don't even care if anyone sees me dancing."

If you are ever around me, you already know the real me.  I am enthusiastic (and loud), loving, encouraging, and considerate.  I love to sing and dance and laugh and hug.  You've seen me, but fear has always been inside holding me back.  Keeping me from living fully.  I'm learning to live in freedom, without the chains that have held me for so long.  I am becoming myself!