Forgive: Release and Refill

This past school year has been full of emotions.  I thought I had been doing a pretty good job of letting go of them, but, as I slow down for the summer, I'm realizing that I am still carrying an awful lot of baggage.  No wonder I am so tired!  At some point during the last week of school, I flipped the switch to turn off my feelings.  The amount of emotion was overwhelming and I was too tired to deal with it.  I guess it is time to sort through the memories and the feelings that come with them. 

I wrote the first paragraph of this blog entry and I got up from my computer and started reflecting on the year.  My initial plan was to throw some memories on the ground and stomp them into the dust, gently set some aside, and deal with the ones that needed more processing.  But before I could do that, a word whispered into my spirit...forgive.  So I quickly responded and I was amazed at the quiet forgiveness that came from my heart and vocalized itself.  Situations that I hadn't even acknowledged at the time surfaced and I released forgiveness into them.  I am sure there will be more, but for now, I have been obedient.  God's ways are so much better than mine!

At the end of the school year, a friend and fellow teacher asked me, "What are you going to do this summer to get refilled?"  Good question...  It seems like I've been looking for that answer all year.  She suggested that I write a list of things that would fill me up and then do them.  I know that quality time with people will be my top priority...Jesus, Joe and Christopher, my parents, friends who are near and dear to my heart.  Quiet time to read my Bible and a myriad of other books.  Running.  Resting.  I'm not sure what else at this moment...but I am sure that my list will get longer as I refill.

I feel quiet and restful and peaceful.  That was just what I needed to prepare for the summer ahead!