Time to heal

I found myself in a situation this week that caused me to reflect on my emotional well being.  Truthfully, I monitor my emotions closely these days.  I haven't always been that way, but in the past several years, I have kept closer tabs on my feelings and what causes them.  And, I try to deal with them as positively and proactively as I can.  I wear my heart on my sleeve.  My feelings are obvious to the world and my heart is easily bruised.  I often feel fragile and I imagine that I appear fragile to the people who spend lots of time with me. 

Anyway, I found myself responding with an "oh well" sort of attitude to an interaction that usually would have caused bruising.  Of course, I had to analyze...why isn't this bothering me?  I discovered that my exposed heart has been buried deeply under many protective layers.  The wounds from this past school year need time and protection to heal.  That's the high price of feeling deeply...deep wounds, pain, and hurt.  (Love and great joy are the benefits...and I've decided it is well worth the cost!)

I am giving myself time to heal.  I am allowing God to touch my deeply buried heart with His love and mercy.  I am blessed to have the gift of time this summer to slow down and recover.  I am intentionally spending time with people who build me up and encourage me and speed the healing process.  At some point, my heart will emerge from its cave.  Meanwhile, I will draw near to God and allow Him to relocate my heart!