glancing backwards, facing forward

I've been reflecting on the past 4 years.  Sunday is National Cancer Survivor Day and my pastor asked me to speak about the things that God has done in my life since my colon cancer adventure.  So much to say in a few minutes!  Anyway, I've been looking back and listening to God and trying to figure out what of the last 4 years would bless someone listening.  I've also been thinking about the value of glancing backwards while I'm moving forward.

Some people are coordinated enough to look behind while still moving the opposite direction.  I am not one of them!  If I am not giving my full attention to what is in front of me, I run into something or trip and fall.  It happens frequently when I'm running and I get distracted.  It happens to me in life too.  I'll be moving forward and glance back at something and get totally derailed.  I find myself getting trapped by the failures of the past and overwhelmed by what is still ahead.  But, looking back can be so inspiring.  It's good to see where you've been and what you've learned and the things that have been survived...like looking down the trail from the top of a mountain.

The enemy would love to trap us in our pasts.  He loves to remind me of my failures and my insecurities and my fears.  I have realized that I can't spend too long looking back at the past or the devil will pull me into the pit of despair.  I've been there before and it's so easy for me to slide back into that nasty place.  I'm well acquainted with the lies that lead me there, but somehow I still fall for them.

The Bolder Boulder taught me a great lesson.  I was running a completely unknown course.  I had NO idea what was ahead, except the finish line.  I never looked behind me; I faced forward and took in the sights and sounds along the way.  I had my eyes on the goal...crossing the finish line at Folsom Field...and no obstacles were going to trip me up.

Bottom line...for me anyway...is to keep facing forward.  When I do look back it is to glance at the things that made me a survivor, celebrate the victories and lessons learned, express my gratitude to God, and then move forward into the glorious unknown.  I know that God has amazing things in my future and I don't want to get stuck in my past!