Breaking free sounds like a good thing, doesn't it? The tough part about being free is that something has to break. And, for me, breaking is usually painful. I picture myself 6 months ago bound by thick metal chains. Chains of expectations, fears, doubts, and more. The breaking started in March; bit by bit, link by link of the chains that I had collected throughout my life. I have cried more in the last 6 months than in the other 44 and a half years of my life put together. But I am getting free, and that makes it all worth it!
I ran today for the first time in weeks. And I ran without my GPS watch since the battery was dead...I call that Divine intervention! I ran without any expectations of time or distance. And I loved every minute, every stride! I discovered that I have been held captive by my own expectations of myself and of other people. And I realized that those chains had finally broken this past week through yet another painful situation. I'm learning to embrace and learn from the pain because it means I am breaking free. I am holding on to Romans 8:28...And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. It means that God is doing His perfect work in me to make me His girl.
The challenges aren't over. I have to choose to live in freedom every day. I have to choose to live without expectations of myself or anyone else. I have to choose to fight fear and doubt with God's truth. I have to choose to walk each day by faith, knowing that there might still be pain. The chains feel safe and familiar, but I don't want that anymore! I am not going back! I am breaking free!
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